So, Indiana Jones and the It’s Fun to do Bad Things opens next weekend, perhaps you’ve heard.
I want to invite all roadies who live in the greater Los Angeles area, to partake in a long standing tradition, the Opening Weekend Line Squat in Westwood. Here’s what you do: go to Movietickets.com, or Fandango, or whatever, and buy a ticket to the Friday, May 23rd 7:15pm show at Mann’s Village in Westwood, CA. It will sell out, I suspect, so don’t delay.
When you arrive, and you should arrive by 6:00 at the latest, look for us planted in chairs near the front of the line, near BJ’s Pizza. If you can’t recognize us, start shouting “Throw me the idol, I’ll throw you the whip!” as loud as you can, and then start acting out the face melting sequence from Raiders. We’ll know it’s you. We’ll let you go on a little while, but then, eventually, we’ll give you a wave and end your suffering.
From there, you will enjoy the ceremonial rituals of The Opening Weekend Summer Line Squat, which include:
The mad dash to get seats. (we split into 2 teams, entering doors 2 and 3. whoever has a better bead on a bunch of seats in the middle makes a run for it and shouts their comrades over)
The post mad dash smugness. (this goes on for 25 minutes or so as latecomers look at you with envy and anger as they make their way to the balcony or the extreme left or right of the 1300 seat room.)
Cheering and Jeering previews. (there is nothing like the unfettered delight or disdain of preview material at a Westwood show. there’s a reason stars and directors will sneak in. we let them know how bad they suck or rock.)
Cheering the THX logo. At The Village, achieving THX certification means driving enough wattage through the subs to power an evil, impenetrable fortress. There’s thx, and then there’s THeffingX.
Oh yeah… then there’s the movie itself, and there is no room in town where it will look or sound better. If the script sucks, they actually re-edit on the fly. Ok, that’s not true.
So, come one, come all! The great thing about an experience like this is that it makes the quality of the movie almost irrelevant. Almost.
While I’m on the topic of movies, I’d like to point out that Prince Caspian opened below expectations this weekend, despite the reviews telling us that it’s better than the first film. I have, many times, urged Christian people who complain about the lack of good content produced by major media outlets to speak with their wallets.
This would be one of those opportunities.