Overheard in the car this morning:
Sophia (on her “cell” phone): “Ugh! I can’t believe it!”
Us: “What’s the matter Soph?”
S: “They want me to come down and go to that doctor’s appointment. But that’s not my job! I’m not a Doctor, I’m an ARTIST, people!”
Priceless. Thought it’d give you a chuckle.
What are some of your favorite overheards? Need not be kid related.
This is my daughter, showing me how the drawing program works on her new linux computer. I set it up for her, and 30 seconds later she told me to go away, because she didn’t need my help anymore.
My work here is done.
Ah yes. Would we expect any less from Mike’s daughter? I see Gretchen’s influence in her cutie outfit…and telling Mike where to go. ; )
This reminds me of our four-year-old. He recently said “Mom, can I pway on da computer?” (A request I hear no less than 10 times a day…and no he doesn’t play 10 times a day.) I said “What word did you forget, honey?” (It was “please” I was hoping for.) He replied: “……………internet?!”
I did the same thing for my son 17 years ago (age 3) and later found out that he had use the 3.5″ floppy disk drive as a stogage container for small objects, buttons, paper clips…. This is also the son who could load his favorite video into the VCR and decided he wanted to watch his favorite sandwich on TV (peanut butter and jelly). Ahh the joy of children and technology.
Yes, the actual computer is tucked safely away under the desk.
… increasing the time it takes for her to break the case open by approximately 35 seconds.
So both of my sons have won the prestigious Principal’s Award at their school. Hooray… for Beth, “the good parent”, as some would call her. Ellie can sorta sing, is made for the stage, and all that. Hooray… for Beth.
MY contribution? Here’s a picture of Toby, my 8 year old. At Guitar Center. Playing Crazy Train. I almost cried.
crazy train
I know the feeling. Zane, our 7 year old is very close to having the Imperial March from Empire Strikes Back down on the piano. Next I need to get him doing vocal pitch correction in ProTools.
I’m not paying for that.
I know a few studios down here who would probably hire Zane. The people they’re using don’t have much more experience.
Chad, your vocals don’t need correction, right?
Well certainly not.
(…but if they did, and I’m speaking totally hypothetically, I think I’d prefer that you do it….)
It’s way more indie to have the mix engineer’s son tune the vocals.
That’s true, except that with today’s technology, he can tune it to the Thomas The Tank Engine theme song, and that just won’t do.
Whatever, Corey. That song is SOOOOOO easy.
Zack wins for “guy who most missed the point”.
Zack wins for the guy who doesn’t freakin’ hijack the one microscopic window of opportunity I have to claim that my boys are somehow improved because of THIS half of their parenting.
Sorry Corey. Congrats on getting some Texas into your boys.
I think you’ll all realize just how sarcastic and silly I was being, when you know that I can’t play the intro to Crazy Train. Yup, after 15 years of self-taught guitar playing, 8 year-old Toby is better than I am.
Sometimes, I mask my jealousy and rage with cynicism. And dick and fart jokes. (“Franks and beans!!!!”)
You see, I’m not sure if Sara will even allow me to contribute to our (non-existent, yet, or forever) future children’s education. She can teach them about spirituality, physical and mental health, balance and security. I can teach them how to open beer bottles with a cigarette lighter, how to drag your knee on a motorcycle, and the opening solo from Metallica’s “Sanitarium”.
Yeah, our kids are gonna be well-rounded, for sure.
Zack can open a beer bottle with a cigarette lighter?
The man has mad skillz.
I can’t believe lil’ Tobs is 8 years old. Geez. I think it’s awesome. His hero worship of his good ol’ dad is pretty sweet. I bet he’s totally excited to have you all proud of him as a guitar player. Sweet.
you have no idea. Both of the boys are having me teach them Crazy Train in sections. We broke the song up into 6 parts and they learn a couple of bars at a time. They’re like little birds in the a nest yelping for me to teach them the next part. Once I do, they scatter off around the house with my guitars in hand so they can practice the next section. Even Elie borrowed Toby’s 3/4-size strat so she could start with part one.
The thing I love most is to see the personalities come flying out. I teach them all at once. Toby has the part under his fingers almost immediately, plays it a few times, then kinda loses steam- because in his mind, he can play it. Nolie needs me to show him multiple times, then come around the guitar and “play” the part from his perspective until he finally has enough concrete instruction to go on. Then he’ll go practice for 90 minutes until it sounds like Randy Rhoads. Ellie stands in front of the full-length mirror and watches herself hold and strum the guitar. For her, guitar playing is less sonic and more visual.
I see little pieces of my own guitar personality in all three.
Now all he needs to accomplish is this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25_0eg4_eDU&feature=related
-PC
You’re totally Ellie. Guitar strap & shoe matchin’ DIVA!
Yah, but does she put her foot forward and make the “I smell somethin’ nasty” face on? Now that’s daddy as a rock star.
Actually, yes. Yes she does. But her dance repertoire is so much deeper than mine. I have the gaspedal foot and the “who farted?” face. She has dozens of stances and faces. Most of which are borrowed from Beyonce’ and Iggy Pop.
So Mike got the Summer Sweetwater Cataloge in the mail the other day, and along with it comes the “Sweet Notes” of all the local events and happenings.
Who is in the center picture of the “A Look At Gear Fest ’08″ but our very own Corey Witt, a “keenly skilled manufacturer representative (who) showed off (his) chops on guitar…” Nice.
We want pictures, Gretchen. Fire up the scanner…
Corey, you’ve been Canonized! You glorious, glorious king among nerds!
I saw that and threw it out without looking closely. Shoulda kept it. crap. crap. crap. And it woulda been proof to Beth that I AM a big deal…
What, you telling her over and over again isn’t enough?
I know, you’d think, right?
Ok, I’m impressed. Does this mean more free gear?
It’s a little picture, but I’ll try to scan it. Josiah didn’t manage to rip it completely apart so I’ll send it to ya Cor.
There is no act of unrestrained childhood play so pure, so simple that it can’t be improved upon with a little tacky consumer crap. Ladies and Gentefolk, I give you … The Daddle
Are the knee-pads a value-added freebie, or are they sold separately?
I already asked my girlfriend if she was game to wear that, and let me ride her around our apartment.
Note: Don’t make the same mistake I did. Girls are sorta sensitive that way.
Ally – the knee pads are, like, an extra thirty-nine bucks. In case you’re thinking of ordering…
Isn’t this the recruiting poster for NAMBLA?
Carrie, you are twisted. In a good way.
Damn. You all pretty much beat me to all the punchlines I automatically came up with when I saw this picture. I’ll just go in a corner and spank myself now.
Wait…what? I don’t think we allow double entendres of that magnitude here at The Road.
Okay Mom, in between that post and your posts on your answers, I’m really very frightened of you now. And I don’t mean in a good way.
Okay, it’s almost Halloween. I guess you don’t scare me THAT much…
Bill Heatley and one other person are discussing. 
Carrie, 
Jason 7:28 am on 22 October 2009 Permalink
I was teaching pentatonic scales in my music class yesterday. I said, “A pentagon has five sides.” A 5th grade student stumped me. “No, because the pentagon building has 6 sides,” he said, knowingly.
sharolyn 9:26 am on 22 October 2009 Permalink
Once my daughter was making conversation with another little girl at Borders. “What is your name?” she asked. “Ellie,” responded the girl (sounds like L-E).
“What’s your name?” she asked my daughter.
“c-a-m-i-l-L-E”.
Josiah Mory 10:30 am on 22 October 2009 Permalink
Um Jason, the Pentagon does only have five sides….don’t let 5th graders get a jumpstart on thinking they’re smarter than you they have another 5 years before they hit that stage.
chad 12:08 pm on 22 October 2009 Permalink
For years, we’ve listened as one of our kids informed us of something, then they’d turn and walk away, having informed us of something very important.
One of us will lean in close, and finish the sentence with a whispered… “Dumbass.”
sharolyn 1:02 pm on 22 October 2009 Permalink
Non kid-related: In the midst of a national conversation about how involved government should be in our lives, the most absurd thing I have heard from someone who was not kidding…
“I’ve been on food stamps and welfare. Did anybody help me out? No!” -Craig T. Nelson, “Coach”
This for me goes in the category of if-you-don’t-laugh-you’ll-go-insane.
sharolyn 9:27 pm on 24 October 2009 Permalink
“We need burritos NOW. Hurry!”
-James into the Dora cash register mic tonight
Where is everyone?
michael 9:55 pm on 24 October 2009 Permalink
Out. Unlike us boring people who are in, checking our blogs.
sharolyn 10:19 pm on 24 October 2009 Permalink
Yeah, at U2 concerts or whatever. (jealous kid inner voice) This is way better. Right.
I don’t know if this counts as a quote, but sometimes Jason calls in the middle of a song. This time it was right before he played the bass line from “Beat It.” Have you ever heard a bass trombone playing Beat It over the phone during a live performance? I am wiping tears of laughter.
Gretchen, this post could go on for years for me. But I’ll stop. I promise. Don’t everyone interrupt at once. (crickets chirping)
aly hawkins 9:58 am on 25 October 2009 Permalink
We sometimes do our pets’ voices and make them say funny things. Hazel’s is that of a jaded junior-high girl who thinks everything is stupid. Pearl sounds like a depressed, middle-aged 1950s housewife with severe social anxiety disorder. Lucy is an ADD second-grader.
I’m absolutely willing to share some of the hilarious things we have made them say. Will that count?
sharolyn 3:30 pm on 25 October 2009 Permalink
Absolutely.
Heidi 2:47 pm on 27 October 2009 Permalink
This story is on behalf of Christy and Daniel Semsen.
Their adorable autistic son Noah has a therapist that goes to school with him. The therapist (Gloria) watches Noah and makes sure he doesn’t do things that he is learning not to do (be really fidgety, stare off into space, etc). When he’s good, Gloria reports back and Noah gets to play video games that evening. When he’s bad, Gloria reports back and that means no Wii for Noah. (Which, obviously, is a fate worse than death.)
One day, Christy was driving with Noah in the backseat after school and he asked if he could play video games. This is the conversation that followed:
Christy: No Noah, I’m sorry, but Gloria said you were bad today. No video games.
Noah: What? Mom, I want to call Gloria.
(note – Noah was 5 and had never used a phone)
Christy: Sure, why not?
(dials the phone and hands it to Noah)
Noah: Hello? Gloria? What I want to say is… WHAT THE HECK?? Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Ok.
michael 8:07 am on 28 October 2009 Permalink
Can I have my son call Gloria?
Heidi 8:10 am on 28 October 2009 Permalink
I highly recommend it.
Gretchen 8:05 pm on 4 November 2009 Permalink
While stepping on to a crowded elevator at Kaiser today; Sophia: “We’re here for my mom. Not for us. She has a thing on her arm she wants the doctor to look at. Hopefully she won’t need a shot. ” -Thanks Soph :)
sharolyn 10:10 am on 10 December 2009 Permalink
My son, who often shows drummer tendencies, this morning:
“I’m a good drummer because I’m a boy.”
(His mother smacks her forehead and shakes head.)
Gretchen Lee 9:56 pm on 11 December 2009 Permalink
I told this to Chad already- but it was cute:
Sophia: Mom, did you fall in love when you were 5?
Me: No sweetie, I was 21 when I fell in love.
Sophia: Oh, well I’m only 4 but I love Zion.
And so it begins.
sharolyn 1:51 pm on 18 December 2009 Permalink
-driving-
Camille: Mom, what does Emmanuel mean?
Me: It means God with us. God wanted to be friends with us, so he sent Jesus. Jesus is God, but also a person, so he knows how we think and feel, and people could ask him questions…
Camille: -MOM, GRINCH DECORATIONS!
sharolyn 1:53 pm on 18 December 2009 Permalink
As the great Gary Cole said as Mike Brady in The Brady Bunch Movie, “I’m glad we had this talk.”
Gretchen Lee 8:43 am on 19 December 2009 Permalink
Squirrel!
chad 2:14 pm on 19 December 2009 Permalink
I hid underneath your porch because I love you.
june 5:29 pm on 19 December 2009 Permalink
“I just met you and I love you!”
(No, not from “Up,” from when Brian and I met/married…yes, fast enough to merit a slash.Happy anniversary babe!)