Tag Archives: anniversary

I think it’s going to last.

Tomorrow Ash & I celebrate 5 years of marriage. When we got married, we decided we’d give it five years to make sure we weren’t making a mistake, and since he hasn’t mentioned divorce and we’re talking about getting a dog, I think it’s going to last.

The thing all your (honest) married friends tell you before you tie the knot is that marriage is Hard. And man…they aren’t kidding. It’s not for sissies. But the thing all your (honest and happy) married friends try to tell you before you tie the knot — but which doesn’t make any sense until you’re knee-deep in matrimony and another person’s dirty laundry — is that the Hardness is Good, that marriage’s special difficulties can help you become Good.

Of course, I don’t claim to have mastered Goodness after only five trial-run years. But I know that I am more the person I always wanted to be now, married to Ash, than I ever would have been otherwise. Besides the things he has taught me just by being himself — zeal, determination, compassion, comic timing (still working on this), fearlessness, truth-telling — I have learned (and continue to learn) so much about myself…things to cherish and things to change. Not to get all Jack Nicholson on ya, but Ash makes me want to be a better man person. Not because he won’t love me if I’m not, but because he already loves the me that isn’t.

So here’s to you, babe, and to five more and five more after that, and another 10 fives after that one. I guess we’re in for the long haul. I wouldn’t be anywhere or with anyone else. I like you. You’re funny and smart and tender and the way you say “poop” makes me laugh. And you stole my heart all over again when you suggested we should name the dog “Tipsy” after drinking two extra-large gin & tonics.

You’re incomparable. I love you.