Addison Road » laugh!

“How do you win at jazz?”

Sharolyn — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 17:31:10 +0000

“Jazz teaches us to listen.” And, in the end, to get a little silly.

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Christmas Chainsaw Massacre

michael lee — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 05:36:28 +0000

If you’re wondering what to buy your 4-year-old and 6-year-old nephews, allow me to highly recommend getting them a toy chainsaw that makes real chainsaw noises, and also has a spinning beaded metal “chain” that causes burn marks when they slam it against their brother’s shin and pull the trigger.

Who wins this round of Christmas? Uncle Michael, that’s who.

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Audio Christmas Card 2008 - Jingle Bells

Chad — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 01:27:03 +0000

So, this is our little family Christmas Miracle for 2008. We’ve done this for the past few years, but this year we felt like we were only going to have time for one track, instead of the 2-3 we’ve done before. So… we decided to get the whole family involved. I have perhaps the most hilarious video ever of Zion, our almost three year old, tracking vocals on this one. It’s priceless. I’ll YouTube it and get it embedded here ASAP.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas from Chad, Erica, Ella, and Zion Reisser

[See post to listen to audio]

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Things I Said to My Students In Class Today

michael lee — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 08:42:58 +0000

Part 1 in a 587 part series: STUDENT: “Hey Dr. Lee?” ME: “It’s not Doctor, just Professor.” STUDENTS: “Why don’t you have a doctorate yet?” ME: “They don’t have a doctorate for awesome.” awwwwwwww yeaaaaah. Related posts:More Things I Said To My Students In Class Today part 2 in a 586 part series Very few people...So, this is pretty much my [...] Related posts:

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Universal Grade Change Petition

michael lee — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 06:00:54 +0000

Well, it’s that time of year again, when I grade thesis papers and final projects, and students begin the equally arduous task of protesting their final grade. To make the whole process flow a bit more smoothly, this year I will be using a universal grade change petition. Students may fill in the appropriate blanks and submit the petition to the Dean, Provost, or University President, saving everyone a lot of time and hassle.

—————— copy and paste from below —————–

To: (professor/teacher/instructor)________________________

From:_____________________

I think my grade in your course,_________________, should be changed from___to___for the following reasons:

___ The person whose paper I copied got a higher grade than I did.
___ The person who copied my paper got a higher grade than I did.
___ This grade will lower my GPA, and I won’t get into (__) Medical School, (__) Dental School, (__) Chiropractic School, (__) Graduate Program, (__) Starbucks Managerial Training.
___ I need an “A” in this class to balance out my “F” in ___________ .
___ I’ll lose my scholarship.
___ I’m on a varsity sports team, and my coach couldn’t find a copy of your exam.
___ I didn’t come to class, and the person whose notes I copied did not cover the material asked for on the final exam.
___ I studied the basic principles, but the exam wanted every little fact and vocabulary term.
___ I studied every little fact and vocabulary term, but the exam asked for general principles.
___ I understood the material, I just couldn’t do the problems on the exam.
___ I can do all the problems, but the exam expected us to understand the material.
___ You are just prejudiced against (__) Males, (__) Females, (__) Jews, (__) Catholics, (__) Muslims, (__) Atheists, (__) Blacks, (__) Whites, (__) Asians, (__) Jocks, (__) Adult Learners, (__) Young People, (__) Progressive Thinkers, (__) Libertarians, (__) People.
___ If I don’t pass, my father will stop sending me beer money.
___ I have a learning disability that prevents me from (__) understanding new ideas, (__) writing, (__) following directions, (__) applying concepts, (__) doing research, (__) critical thinking.
___ You told us to be creative, but you didn’t tell us exactly how you wanted that done.
___ I tried to finish the paper but my computer doesn’t like me.
___ Your former students all said the class was easy; it was totally unfair for you to suddenly give a hard exam.
___ The lectures (__) were too detailed to pick out the important points, (__) did not give sufficient detail, (__) too boring, (__) all jokes and no substance.
___ All my other profs have agreed to raise my grades.
___ This course was (__) too early, I wasn’t awake, (__) too late, I was always tired, (__) at lunchtime, I was too hungry to think.
___ You never said we couldn’t do our thesis paper in groups.
___ My (boyfriend / girlfriend / sibling / grandmother / roommate) was (ill / dead / sleeping around / going through a hard time) and I (needed to be there / was very emotionally involved / had to confront them) so I didn’t finish the final project.
___ The one time I went to work on my paper the library was closed.
___ There was no Wikipedia entry on this subject.

plagiarized from here

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Disney’s Desperate Housewives

michael lee — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 16:55:18 +0000

Disney’s Desperate Housewives.

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Mystery Piano

Sharolyn — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 03:10:05 +0000

Okay, which one of you is in Massachusetts? Related posts:Death of the US Piano Industry An interesting article comparing the death of the US piano...Protest Songs: The Mystery of Iniquity When I first heard The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill in...Instrument / Economy Trivia From the newspaper’s Money Section: “Founded in 1623 by an... Related posts:

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Aaaaah, The Onion.

Chad — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:17:47 +0000

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MMORPG voters

aly hawkins — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 23:43:38 +0000

WoW polling. I’m not even a geek (or an elf), and I laughed aloud with +27 spirit. Related posts:Wow! Wow, wow and wow! ...groaner This might be the worst musical joke ever. I laughed....You Say Tomato This post at Defective Yeti is pretty much how every... Related posts:

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Things That Are Flammable, In Order of How Awesome My Discovery of Said Flammability Was At Age 12

michael lee — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 16:47:46 +0000

Gasoline (my experiments were nothing if not exhaustive)
Dry spaghetti noodles (used in a pinch to light a gas stove)
Cotton Candy (why do more people not know about this one?)
WD40 (in aerosol form only)
Lighter fluid (can be mixed with sand and spread out to form incredibly awesome “flaming desert” campaign with toy soldier)
Paraffin (note: melted down in sauce pan, spilled some over side onto open flame, whole pan caught on fire. Awesome results could not be duplicated, even after multiple iterations of test conditions)
Scotch tape (part 2 of the experiment, wherein fumes of said burning are collected and inhaled, or “huffed”, was inconclusive)
Dried rose petals (experiment was conducted in the hollowed-out bottom of a broom handle, with fume aperture drilled into the side and connected to a venting tube. Crushed and dried petals did not ignite but smoldered successfully)
Tennis ball slit open and filled kerosene (media reports of this experiment greatly exaggerate the danger of the test conditions. First, if a certain neighborhood collaborator known as M. Baum hadn’t been so afraid of a flaming ball of fire being kicked through the air toward him, he might have successfully blocked it from hitting the pine tree. Secondly, with a little circumspection and foresight, said M. Baum might have realized that the best way to extinguish a tennis ball filled up with flammable liquid is NOT with vigorous stomping. I believe this experiment can, and should, be conducted again with more carefully selected personnel in assisting roles.)
Epichlorohydrin, one of the two compounds used in making epoxy, when cooked together with nitrate fertilizer over low heat and set in a paper cup suspended over a flaming mason jar full of windshield washer fluid. For best results, conduct experiment underneath a trampoline while 8-year-old sister is jumping above you.

Remember kids, if your home flammability experiments don’t result in being placed on the Homeland Security Terrorist Watch List, you’re not doing it right.

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