I’ve smoked cigarettes for 16 years.  I’ve averaged about a pack-a-day since 1993, when I first started at the tender age of 15. Here is some basic math to give you an idea of what I’ve done to myself:

I’ve smoked a pack of cigarettes every single day for 5936 Days, and counting.
I’ve smoked about 119,000 Cigarettes.
I’ve easily spent a little more than $20,000 Dollars on cigarettes. (If I average the per-pack cost to $3.50) 

I’ve been a smoker longer than I’ve been anything else. It’s literally defined who I am. 

In 16 years, the longest I’ve ever gone without a cigarette (aside from sleep, of course) is 5.5 hours – the duration of the average Los Angeles to New York flight.  I estimate that I’ve easily knocked a solid year off of my life. Granted, it’s most likely the year that I’ll be yelling at kids to get off my porch, and/or putting my dinner in the blender, but I think I’ve made my point.  I’ve never had a reason to quit, until now…

I promised the love of my life that she wouldn’t marry a smoker.  It’s just that simple.  My fiance has dreams and goals and expectations that don’t include marrying a smoker, and I have an absolute understanding of that. So, April 27th, I am quitting smoking. 

I have an appointment scheduled at Freedom Laser Therapy. Hopefully, their plan includes giving me high-powered lasers to distract myself from the nicotine withdrawal. Maybe they’ll shoot ‘em into my eyes Clockwork Orange style.

Lasers! FUN!

Who knows. Honestly, I don’t care. You see, I’ve never had to experience withdrawl….from anything, substance or otherwise. I’ve never denied myself anything I’ve liked. Fast cars, sure. Motorcycles, uh huh. Fatty foods, (nods head, mouth is full). Booze, bring it on. Excess, oh hell yes. 

This promises to be an interesting experiment. I’ve know that nicotine is one of the most powerfully addictive drugs on Earth. But I’ve heard that it only takes a week or so to completely expel all the nicotine from one’s body.  But I’ll need your help…

I’ll need to remove any and all “triggers” for a while. A “trigger” is any activity that reminds you that you’re a smoker. Here’s a list of the things I won’t be able to do while quitting:

1. Any Social Event, Regardless Of It’s Size, Duration, or Location
2. Everything Else I’ve Been Doing For The Past 16 Years

As you can see, this fairly limits my activities. There’s a good chance you won’t see me in person for a while. Don’t take it personally, but you’re all dirty “triggers”, and I’m a no-good “trigger-lover”.  

After April 27th, I’ll see you all on the other side…