Christmas Chainsaw Massacre
If you’re wondering what to buy your 4-year-old and 6-year-old nephews, allow me to highly recommend getting them a toy chainsaw that makes real chainsaw noises, and also has a spinning beaded metal “chain” that causes burn marks when they slam it against their brother’s shin and pull the trigger.
Who wins this round of Christmas? Uncle Michael, that’s who.
You’ve softened since you had kids…
WOW!
Their dad got them a full stormtrooper helmet, the kind with a voice modulator inside so that whatever you say inside the helmet comes out sounding like a stormtrooper. You don’t know terror until you’ve seen a 6-year-old kid running full speed through the house with a storm trooper helmet on, revving a chainsaw, and yelling “HAHAHAHAHAHA” through the storm trooper voice modulator.
Happy birthday, baby Jesus.
Here he is with his new chainsaw.