15 Future Conversations

Brief quotes from conversations I fully expect to have before I die:

  1. “Of course we wanted that house, but you have to understand honey, back then a million dollars was a lot of money!”
  2. “I don’t care if it is the ‘casual’ service, you’re not wearing ass-less chaps to church!”
  3. “I just don’t enjoy listening to music on beam-o-wave. I prefer the vintage sound of mp3s.”
  4. “Yeah, we were planning to go up to Santa Cruz for the 4th of July, but Gretchen got placed on the Homeland Security ‘No-Drive’ list, so we’re not allowed on any Interstate Highways.”
  5. “You damn kids, get off my astro-turf!”
  6. “So he’s just bricked? Totally comatose until the next upgrade? See, that’s why I’m waiting for the 2nd generation iControl neural implants.”
  7. “Well, yeah, we used to have salad at almost every meal, but since we deployed the Death-Ray Border-Bots, nobody can afford to grow lettuce commercially.”
  8. “If you read the course description, it still says Logic Pro and ProTools, but these days we spend most of the semester on Guitar Hero.”
  9. “So even though the company went bankrupt and was sold off piecemeal in the mid 30′s, we still use ‘google’ as a verb.”
  10. “There is no plug, it runs on gasoline.”
  11. “This is disgusting. We should just spend the extra money and get the name-brand protein cartridges for the food replicator. I’m tired of the sludge these refills put out.”
  12. “Welcome to the 11:45 Karaoke Service. If you’d like to lead a worship song, just hand your slip of paper and offering envelope to the nearest usher.”
  13. “We would love to put some trees in the backyard, but we can’t afford the mandatory carbon-onset credits to reduce global cooling.”
  14. “Now it’s mostly used as a skate park, but back when it was first opened the Large Hadron Collider was a very sophisticated piece of scientific equipment.”
  15. “Heard of them? I played keyboards on their first two records!”

You kids can take it from here.

15 thoughts on “15 Future Conversations

  1. Pingback: Future Conversations » The Upward Way Press

  2. Bobby

    Yeah that beam-o-wave compression really sucks out the lows.

    16. I think they called it a mouse because the early ones had a cord that looked like a tail.

    17. Strike three? Better check that replay, Blue! I’ll take my kids and my tee right home!

  3. Bobby

    18. That’s no excuse. A Gentleman holds the airlock door for his date. You’ll just have to tether yourself and get out there again.

    19. It’s season 21 and Jim and Pam are still on again, off again? i give up.

  4. JC

    “Heard of them? I played keyboards on their first two records!”

    I love it!!!! Great list

  5. Alex

    Well, I’m more prepared now if I ever have to clean or organize your office. Thank you.

  6. Alex

    Uh oh… heh… the weed isn’t enough for blackmail to withhold any cleaning services? You probably have a backup plan for that.

  7. Alex

    20. Don’t you take weekend trips to Mexico to bet on bull-fighting and drink tequila?

    Gasp… I just shivered at having this future conversation with you. Awkward. Haha

  8. Sharolyn

    21. That was before cigarettes and McDonald’s were banned. People didn’t realize how bad it really was for your health.

  9. Dave

    Quit your complaining! Before intelligence implants we had to sit around all day and listen to mom “home school” us.

  10. Josiah Mory

    Just watch how much enthusiasm you show, you might be accused of using acid….otherwise no one will suspect a thing…

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