I have noticed a refreshing trend among me and my peers lately: Living On Less. Money, that is.
I first noticed this when a friend and her husband made the agonizing decision to put their house on the market. With three pre-schoolers and a job change for him, they just couldn’t make ends meet without going into debt. While some would diagnosis this a failure, I grew in respect for their actualization that they are not invincible. They made the true heroic decision for their family to live within its means.By the way, they are not upside-down, rather they are walking away with some nice equity that will ease the financial pressure they’ve been feeling for a few years. Thumbs up to them!
This sure beats the lifestyle of another girlfriend, whose marriage is littered with fights about money.A large, remodeled house was purchased that escalated financial tensions.
Articles about saving are making the covers of magazines. Recently I saw a travel segment on TV that had me cracking up regarding traveling on a dime. Go to Argentina, it said. It has the look Paris and the feel of Italy! “Don’t cry for me, Europe,” the broadcaster announced, thumbs pointing at herself, “I’m in Argentina!”
I predict I will be soon attending backyard birthday parties once again, instead of making trips here or here.
This trend has me asking “What do I value?” and “Do my finances reflect those values?” Twice this month I gave up two entertainment events that I still can’t believe I skipped. I am a fan of both of the performers. However, we are taking two trips this month. Instead of going to one of the events, I was at my daughter’s pre-school carnival. Sure, we could have made it work to do everything – but should we? It would have been excessive. Sigh.
A few years ago banks were telling people they could take loans they really couldn’t afford. And people believed them, because they were the bankers. I feel grown-up financially, because (as opposed to the thinking of my 20s) one thing that’s hitting home this month is that just because you can do something with your money doesn’t mean you should.
This reminds me of a chapter from the book “Celebration Of Diclipine”. In that book the author lists some of the major disciplines that should be a part of every Christian’s life, that so often are neglected. He devotes an entire chapter to Simplicity.
It really is a challenging read. I highly reccomend it for further insight into this subject.
Thanks for sharing this, Shar.
When G and I got married, we were pretty thrifty with our pennies, mainly because we had to be! Also, we had both been raised in households that valued financial discipline, saving for the future, delayed gratification, all that good stuff.
Our first apartment was in Orange County. Yorba Linda, to be specific. Where your life is measured by the size of your SUV and the cut of your lawn. It was amazing to me to watch how quickly our financial habits were altered by being in that environment. Things that we formerly thought of as excess became the norm - eating out, $4 coffee, new cars. I think we absorbed the values of the people around us, uncritically, and measured ourselves as behind in “the race” because we didn’t live that way. So, we started to live that way, in small ways.
It took an unpayable credit card debt ($12,000 for us, at the time, felt like total disaster), and a humble trip to the folks for a loan to pay it off before we realized how much our financial values had changed.
Fast forward 8 years, and that loan is paid off, we haven’t carried any credit card debt for years, and I think we’re drifting back toward the financial values that our parents tried to instill in us.
It was a lot of fun to sit down with our mortgage broker a few weeks ago, at the initial meeting, and get to lay out for him our current financial situation. We felt like responsible adults!
Now we get to go blow that whole track record by getting a massive house, totally remodeling it, and spending 2/3 of our monthly income on housing! Sweet!
Oh wait, was that not your point?
Gretchen made an excellent point to me this morning - a big part of the change was that our income outgrew our spending habits. I don’t want to give the impression that this was all some big heroic act of financial virtue.
But, there’s something to the fact that, as income grew, expenses didn’t increase in proportion.
Don’t try to dig yourself out Mike: we all know that under the calm and hip music prof and stay-at-home-mom exteriors beat the hearts of financial superheroes. It’s ok: you and G look great in capes and spandex, I’m certain.
Sharolyn and I subscribe to conviction magazine, which is also called Sojourners. There was an article that was particularly shattering to my world view in the July 2007 issue. The article is called Jesus of the Cul-de-sac. Essentially it asks, is it even possible to be a Christian if you live in a suburb?
” Goetz lists what he calls suburbia’s “environmental toxins,” such as “I want my neighbor’s life” and “I am what I do and what I own.” ”
Having been, raised in the burbs and now raising my own in the exact same burb, I had (and still have) not really put a great deal of deep thought into the spiritual challenges of relative comfort. It is good for me to read about this and to think about it a little. My awareness has been raised. Now back to consumering.
This seems distantly related. Today I spent a good portion of my energy and thoughts about my problems and stresses, and how much I needed to do to help resolve my own stresses. I did not feel very simple today. I did notice that on our calendar for this weekend, there is precisely nothing for both days. That in and of itself brings my stress level down.
Mike,
You are only playing around unless you get a 50 inch plasma with the remodel.
42 inches is so 5 years ago.
Mike said: “…as income grew, expenses didn’t increase in proportion.”
I heard Suze Orman address this once. She said that a common financial mistake is when people get a bonus or raise, they use it to buy the stuff they wish they’d had all along, like financial vengeance.
She thinks that’s a bad idea. (I’m being silly. Sometimes one must state the obvious.)
And for the record, we have a 27″, non-flat TV that rests in an armoire so that when our small group comes over we can close it off and put a Bible on top.
Making decisions is much different when there is nothing to loose and big brother has no talons in your craw….
Deacon & Usher
deaconandusher.wordpress.com
The phrase, “Is it even possible to be a Christian in the suburbs,” just strikes me as the perfect turn of phrase to demonstrate liberal elite snobbery. (I’m a post-conservative, looking for middle ground, if anyone’s interested.)
Sorry. It just yaks at me… like Jesus is not transcendent enough to work in suburbia, or the notion that somehow people who live in cities or rural areas are somehow inherently more spiritual. I’ll have to read the article.. but man…
Currently reading the article…
Seems like a pretty thoughtful piece.