I’ve literally laughed at nearly every comment since, like, 15 comments ago. Or 20. You guys are very funny people.

Hmmm.

So you’re really conducting? This keeps getting weirder. It’s like that commercial where the guy dreams he’s at the kitchen table with Abe Lincoln and a beaver.

And I was like, “No Rod, my place is with the people, in the choir.”

And Rod was like, “But you’re so much better than them! And Sexy! Just look at your shoes, they’re awesome. Please, Michael, please.”

And I said, “No, Rod, even though I am possibly the best conductor in the world, I think that I’m even more valuable to you as your lead tenor.”

And Rod said, “Well that’s true, you are also an amazing tenor vocal singer. But Michael, if you don’t conduct, who will? My god, man, some of these songs CHANGE METER IN THE MIDDLE! Nobody else knows how to DO that!”

And I was alls, “Well, I’ll have to pray about it.”

And Rod was like, “Think of the children, Michael. Do it for the children.”

So, long story short, they agreed to pay me $29,000 to conduct the whole show, and I get to have an unlimited supply of Yoo-hoo in my green room, just for me.

Don’t you touch my Yoo-hoo

Is Mike going to sing, or give us a bassoon encore? ;)

I bet that you guys could just call Rod and pretend like you know what you’re talking about, and just show up. That’d be awesome. We could give you names and polaroids beforehand, so you could like just walk up to people and start talking about events that they remember, and we could just sit back and enjoy the confusion.

Cccccooooooooonnnn-FeewwwOOOO-SHUN!

That last bit was for Mike Lee, only, I’m afraid. :)

Corey, if we could be there, B and I would happily meet up with you and Beth at the concert and we could all heckle and mock them throughout their Americana extravaganza.

Long Beach Pops has invited the University Choir from APU to participate in a Concert with them, where the theme has now been determined to be Americana. This is great and all, and something UC has done in the past. Unfortunately, the concert is the last weekend of May, and APU gets out the first weekend in May. So, half the choir (or whoever doesn’t live in the area) will be gone. Rod Cathey (the director) invited Alumni to join up w/choir again to fill it out and join in the fun.

We’re already in. Darren King made some not-so-veiled threats regarding my presence. We wouldn’t miss it for the world.

As for, “At ‘em boys… give her the gun…”

Perhaps it’s a negative reflection of my personality, but it’s not a problem for me. I chalk it up to singing songs from another era, which is pretty much what you sing in choir. I sing the High School Musical gigs with total conviction as well, but I don’t really have a lot invested in Troy and Gabriela’s evolving romance.

However…. I get hung up on songs from time to time, so despite my flippant paragraph above, I totally understand the Y in the road on some of these things. There is something about having to smile and sing something when you’d rather bite off the tip of your tongue. I get that. It’s just, for me, not the case in this particular context. The ends far surpass the means.

I remember singing it 11 years ago and having to stifle my giggles… give her the gun indeed. boys. Since Darren’s going to be there, I will most likely be giggling again.

The Military Medley of each of the Armed Forces Theme Songs. Long Beach Pops with UC (no O ) probably 1997.

“The Oprah” is from SNL skits. I just want the fun parts of her job. You know - “You get a car, and you get a car…”

What’s the DEAL with my memory? How could I have forgotten that? Oh yeah. I was doing my own chugging - darn Aly and her icy pitchers of differently-flavored martinis.

Of course I don’t doubt that it happened, but when was the “at ‘em, boys” Americana event? I was probably too busy laughing at jokes in the peanut gallery to notice.

Okay, I can imagine it. But I can also imagine self-trepanation. I have a very vivid imagination.

Is there a rep list yet for the Long Beach thing?

‘Rise - “Walkin’ in Memphis” was definitely Chad. It’s one of his signature karaoke tunes.

Michael, Chad: which of you sang Walkin’ in Memphis at Aly and Bryan’s birthday party that one time? I know you both sang songs around the beginning of the karaoke session and KILLED them (and I thought: “Oh dear me. Please, god, don’t make me get up there” - fat lot of good that prayer did), but I can’t remember which songs you sang. Of course you both remember - out with it.

To be fair, I don’t think anyone has a problem singing Americana, but instead a problem singing militaristic Americana.

Chad, I am doing the Long Beach/APU thing in May, and very much looking forward to it. I hope you and Erica are singing at that, too. And I selfishly don’t care what Bryan and Aly’s political convictions are, I just hope they sing Americana right up there with us. I would sing crappy, crappy music if it meant I got to hang out with you all for a weekend.

I kill Crazy Love. Kill it dead.

Corey, just finish it. Then you can start on the next one, available on iTunes in 2015.

In case there is ever a Sousaphone Idol:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/activision_reports_sluggish_sales

Let’s all go karaoke-ing, drink (or vice versa), and listen to Chad sing Crazy Love.

Sorry- it’s a bit of a rant, but the American Idol thing brings out the worst of my baggage.

I fantasize about lush gallery openings where people mean what they say and everything is marked ’sold’ within the first hour and people are moved to be better versions of themselves through viewing the images I made. That’s kinda like nailing the A flat in Una Voce Poco Loco or whatever, right?

OK, just kidding.

And while we’re also using this as group therapy- I also have daydreams and fantasies about auditioning, but they always end with the three judges berating my looks and my lack of talent while I stand there sobbing… you know, while my children, wife, friends, and employers watch on television. *shudder*

I think, unfortunately, that the end of the writer’s strike has diminished our chances of seeing the thrilling premiere of Harmonica Idol.

The world isn’t fair.

I think it would affect me less if American Idol was a clarinet- or harmonica-playing contest. There’s something inhuman about letting someone front on your voice - a part of you - while you stand there and take it.

Oh yeah. I said it. I liked First Call. Suck it, indie snobs.

I have American Idol fantasies as well, but the real selling points to a voice that Americans seem to want to hear (mostly the big, loud wail that lasts forever and usually leads into a key change as everyone claps) I don’t have. I don’t want. So there goes that. Plus, I don’t look like anything resembling a star and I’m too old.

OK, I’m kind of depressed now.