Comments on: New Church Mission Statement

By: Sharolyn

Sharolyn — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 23:09:00 +0000

We would love it!

By: Matty

Matty — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:25:52 +0000

Actually…The Lark is written by a Ventura County boy, a regular attender at Calvary Community Church.

I’ll invite him to post.

By: Chad

Chad — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 05:37:49 +0000

Sorry, June… I call it like I see it… :(

Look, I’ve had a solid laugh at church from time to time, and not even on accident. All I’m saying is that evangelicalism doens’t seem to be producing any Tina Feys or Mitch Hedburgs.

Gimme genius, people!

Of course, most clean Christians don’t die of heroin overdoses either, so…

By: Dean

Dean — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 05:31:57 +0000

Parody, huh? Really? Too bad, I wanted to visit them…..

By: Cerise

Cerise — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 02:29:50 +0000

I loff heem.

By: June

June — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:04:54 +0000

Chad, Chad, Chad.

By: Chad

Chad — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 21:56:15 +0000

Yeah… Lark News is actually too funny to be written by a Christian, I think.

By: Cerise

Cerise — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 21:09:01 +0000

Thank you, darling, for the great explanaishe.

By: corey

corey — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 20:52:40 +0000

Well said, Mike. And coincidentally, it’s the same pitch perfect tone that I love about Matt Groening’s stuff.

By: michael lee

michael lee — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 19:54:54 +0000

Lark News is, yes, a parody site similar to The Onion. It’s also clearly written by someone with a very long history of church culture, because most of their parody is pitch perfect.

By: Cerise

Cerise — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:43:48 +0000

[laughing]

By: Dean

Dean — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 07:20:21 +0000

You could triple the level of rational thought if you simply added to the end: “…and keeping each other’s shoes tied.”

By: Cerise

Cerise — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:09:47 +0000

No, “we’re” not. Is it like the Christian version of the Onion or something?

June, most excellent. You’re like the seventh grader but with your priorities right. [evil grin]

By: June

June — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:46:16 +0000

I’ve always liked “Turn or burn.”

By: michael lee

michael lee — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 04:42:32 +0000

yup.

By: Anthony

Anthony — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:43:28 +0000

hilarious… but fictitious.
we’re all aware of Lark News, right?

By: Pi

Pi — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 06:11:40 +0000

eight commas, no semicolons, no em- or en- dashes, and one period, and absolutely no clarity

By: corey

corey — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:44:04 +0000

English Major, checking in.

I would answer but it’s too hard to type and vomit at the same time.

By: TomTom

TomTom — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:40:12 +0000

Are there any English majors reading that who can tell me if that qualifies as a coherent thought? I couldn’t even read the whole thing through without losing focus.

I like the response from the kid to the suggestion of a cash prize for a “better” mission statement:

“How about, ‘Jesus rules,’” says one seventh grader. “They should pay me by how many words I didn’t use.”

There should be a junior high kid on every church board to cut through the BS.