I wrote a post, but the links aren’t working. How come they work sometimes, and not others?!

My husband’s New Year’s Resolution was to woo me. It worked. I am wooed. :)

I know that doesn’t help your date night question much, but we have no need of one. I’m not trying to sound smug, I swear. So, what do the rest of you do? Besides you, June…

My husband just called to see if he can pick me up a Starbucks on his way home from taking the kiddo to school. Fire lit.

I counsel a ton of couples getting married and trying to stay married and I tell them:

You got to talk about it = It is your sex life. Build it yourself. Take ownership together and make it what you want for whatever season or time in your life fits best.

You got to protect it = There are three (sounds like and old preacher) things that are un-friendly to healthy intimacy in a marriage. OUR CULTURE is not sex friendly. It is sexually charged but it is not the friend of healthy intimacy in a marriage. OUR PASTS are often unfriendly. Abuse, bad choices, rape, Poor or oppressive bible teaching,and a much longer list goes to shape our pasts. OUR EXPECTATIONS - It is not always perfect, sometimes things mis-fire, sometimes people feel unsatisfied, sometimes people just don’t wanna do that… Thats why Talk about it is such a big deal.

You got to plan for it. = Spontaneity is awesome especially when it it planned. Set time a side so as not to miss opportunities. If it is tomorrow night then start getting ready by eliminating distractions (kids), have a gift, (bling or chocolate) in other words be intentional. The very best things in my life are the things I do on purpose.

You got to own it = I am responsible for my own and to a degree my wifes fidelity. One way I steward this responsibility is to own my part of a healthy intimate life. That involves me being healthy and it also involves me being generous to my spouse

You got to celebrate it = Say thank you. Say what you liked. Share your joy in being with this person in a way no one else is. Celebrate the gift.

You got to keep learning = What was great before kids may not be great after kids. What was great at 20 something might not be a 40 something. Knowing the mechanics (preacher talk for fun stuff) of your wifes body is huge in building intimacy and is usually something that takes time to learn.

You have to value it = This is an important part of a relationship. don’t devalue it with insults or crassness. Value it by working on it. By praying about it (some of you will put the “Oh God” joke right here, that okay cause I think thats funny) But seriously I pray for the wisdom to help my wife to feel honored physically, emotionally, personally and intimately.

Sorry for the length of this post (did you notice how many double meanings are in these posts)

Right there with you, girl…I just hope babysitters never unionize.

When we first started the concept of our “date night”, we were living just outside of our means. Our first year, 93.7% of our dates were “stay at home” dates (more on that later).

Not to take away from the Liberator Wedges and massage oils, but I’d love to add an additional question to this string:

Who here at Addison maintains a regular (semi-regular?) night to spend time with their significant other, and what does that look like?

Welcome back Cerise!

Matty, I’m at a loss as to what makes things/keeps things spicy and what makes marriage good overall. They blur together for me so, I dunno. I guess I’m a sucker for words and jewelry…so nice/tender/funny things that are said or written, accompanied by a little bling (and really, it can be little!) do it for me. Of course, at this juncture, ANY kind of outing without my lil’ darlings would do it for me as well. Perhaps you should give talks on how the parents of young ones in America can get babysitting wages lowered so we can actually have the occasional date night! And, if I hear one more person yammer on about how crucial it is to keep a weekly date night, I may implode. I dare say it’s a bit more crucial to live within one’s means, get the kids to bed on time and not stress everyone and their brother out by making sure you go have ice cream with your husband at 7pm on a Tuesday!

The June is a bit sensitive about the “date night” issue.

The June is going away now.

(For the record, the June is quite happily married. 14 years in December. We’ve had at least 14 dates since we got married.)

God Bless America

Dude, please. Much naughtier things have been said on this blog long before now. I blame Matty and so should you.

Ah yes, there we go. We just got our PG-13 rating.

The Liberator Wedge

But seriously….

Yeah, this thread is like waving a prime rib cut in front of a dog… or a red cape in front of a bull… or like a hot, leggy blonde dancing in front of a group of lacrosse players.

This could go pear shaped quickly, is what I’m saying.

In the interest of avoiding legal prosecution / goring / dog saliva, I will answer honestly first, and save snarky, dirty comments for later.

This has been my story, and I know it may be annoying to others, and for that I am sorry, but I can recommend fitness as a major sexual stimulant. Sex is physical, so it sure helps when the mechanisms are all tuned up.

I’ll say myself that the power of tequila is not to be underestimated in lowering inhibitions. Also, making a comfy, sexy nest of pillows, comforters and other things on your living room floor and having a sleepover is most effective in mixing things up.

If I have to be serious (God help us) I’d say, Be interested. Nothing tops the charge of someone caring about how you were browsing CCM artist’s sites today and have this theory about professional Christians, fame and quantum mechanics. Genuine interest in minutia is a heady aphrodisiac. And also massage oil.