He who goes by Bill Metanoya emailed me the other day and told me that he was going to hold his breath until I blogged again, that he needed a fix. I can only hope that he was bluffing. If not, my most sincere apologies to Becky and Larissa.
Here’s my blog. Take a deep breath, Bill, you’re gonna need it.
Sometimes obeying God feels like utter and complete shit, and the thing that pisses me off about most Christians is that they won’t admit it.
God told me two years ago to do something, and I did it. I completed the task. I finished the race. I fought a good fight. I can say, without hesitation, that I obeyed Him.
In the end, at least thus far, it hasn’t gone “My” way, or at least in the direction that I thought it should. The end result has seemed like it in no way justifies the sweat, blood, and tears that I invested. I felt like I was at the end of a big fat cosmic, “Eff You! See ya sucka!”
Most Christians don’t like to hear things like that. It makes them all twitchy. The platitudes start flying fast and furious.
The other night, some friends were over, and we were talking about this chapter in our lives, and this couple named Dan and Jaime listened intently to my story. They nodded their heads and said things like, ”Yeah… we’ve felt like that before.”
I told them how I felt like I had been stabbed in the back by The Almighty, and Jaime said something that finally meant something to me.
It was along the lines of, “Well… you obeyed God and it didn’t feel good. So what? Congrats! You’re now like every prophet in the Scripture. You’re in good company. The question is not whether or not it feels good, the question is whether or not you were obedient.”
It put my soul at something resembling peace for the first time in three months.
Sometimes obeying God feels like shit, and I’m ok with that. If, in the future, God brings someone into my path who says this to me, I will speak peace and truth and empathy into their lives like Jaime spoke into mine.
You may now exhale.