public anger

I’m sitting at an internet cafe, doing my e-chores. There is a married couple next to me having a very not-quiet fight. Something about some bills that didn’t get paid, and who dropped the ball, who is hiding mail from who, who is a control freak, who flirts more with coworkers at the Christmas party, whose still lives his life based on his mother’s approval … you get the picture.

All of the unhealthy relationship issues aside, I’m sitting here thinking about how rude public displays of anger like this are. Everyone else around is eavesdropping (no other option – they’re really loud) and everyone is uncomfortable.

I think I’m going to say something.

I mean, obviously not to them, because I hate confrontation, but to you all here on my super-blog instead.

Oh, and passive-aggressive angry couple, if you happen to stumble across this, he hid the letter from the DMV to force you to fail, because it proves that you need him to be in control, and she flirts with her coworkers because it’s her primary method of validating her self-worth. She gets drunk first so that she can claim she’s not responsible for her actions.

That will be $90.

19 thoughts on “public anger

  1. Doug

    I know a good couple’s therapist:
    Call Mary Scholten MFT 714-883-3593
    (I wonder what she will have to say to me when she sees this?)

  2. Morphea

    You know – I actually heard someone say the other day that if she and her S.O. couldn’t work out their problems alone then maybe they just weren’t ‘meant to be’. As a way of nixing the counseling idea, you understand.

    I tried not to spray her with my OJ. Ramon and I are DOOMED.

  3. Daniel Semsen

    Once Christy and I had a small “discussion” sitting right in front of Duane Fundy’s office, about two feet from Donna Bearman.
    After it was done Donna stopped me and said, “Daniel–don’t ever do that in front of my desk again, or I’ll rip your face off with a spoon.” Or something to that effect…I can’t quite remember, it was several years ago…

    Needless to say–it DIDN’T happen again…

    and I love Donna B. She’s great.

  4. Pul

    When we were first married, we encountered a couple having a really intense fight outside a restaurant in San Diego. The guy was getting a little physical with the woman, and my wife wanted me to jump in and break it up. Having had zero experience with fisticuffs, fearing pointed objects and not certain of the date of my last tetanus shot, I politely declined. Fortunately, the couple ended their discussion without bloodshed, and probably went on to have make-up sex — definitely something you don’t want to see at an internet cafe. Fortunately now my wife is a counselor who breaks up fights in her office, and my tetanus status is current.

  5. Paul

    Now this is getting confusing. I mistakenly entered my name as “Pul,” and Pul is awaiting moderation, so things are a little out of order.

  6. Paul

    Forget “Pul” — here’s my comment:

    When we were first married, we encountered a couple having a really intense fight outside a restaurant in San Diego. The guy was getting a little physical with the woman, and my wife wanted me to jump in and break it up. Having had zero experience with fisticuffs, fearing pointed objects and not certain of the date of my last tetanus shot, I politely declined. Fortunately, the couple ended their discussion without bloodshed, and probably went on to have make-up sex — definitely something you don’t want to see at an internet cafe. Fortunately now my wife is a counselor who breaks up fights in her office, and my tetanus status is current.

  7. leoskeo

    I have actually stopped several couples from public displays of IQ revelation. A few times they both turned their anger on me and I laughed saying, “doesn’t if feel better toat least be angry at someone else than each other.” After threats of bodily harm and suggestions of things I don’t actually think I can do to myself, I leave.

    Once I was counseling a couple who was bent on having a fight. So I told them to have a huge one. Call each other names I said. I went on to suggest several. Tell him this about his skill in the bedroom and as a man and as a dad… Make sure you tell her about how inadequate she is as a women and a mother and remind her how she used to look before the baby… Call her names and throw stuff…

    Then when your daughter is 15 and your dropping her off for the weekend and she says, Mom, why doesn’t dad live here anymore. Why don’t you love him anymore? Just tell her, Honey, we screwed you view of a healthy marriage, locked you into a statistical certainty of premarital sex, poor husband selection and divorce yourself, took away interaction from your dad, who gives you a sense of confidence as a young woman, made you feel broken and guilty because instead of growing up and working to fix something, we decided we would rather fight, this time over a cheeseburger.

    When I was done, I walked out, got in my car and drove away. In about an hour they called my cell phone, apologized for wasting my time and promised to work hard at building a relationship with each other. They lied.

  8. grammy

    Mike and Zack: Counseling is now $125/hour. Remember that you get what you pay for. (he he he)

  9. Morphea

    Leo, if you said that to me you wouldn’t see me for dust. Let alone cell phone apologies. I’m not into tough love in therapy. Too chicken.

  10. Heidi Marshall

    Whatever, you and Christy have small discussions in front of me all the time. Maybe I should start carrying around a spoon. :)

    You know what’s even worse than public fights? Public cell phone fights. The one-sided loud fight where the body language (and actual language) makes it clear what is going on, but it looks like the person is angry at a small piece of technology and not a person.

    Hmmm, maybe they are actually fighting with their cell phones. I have been known to give mine a verbal beating from time to time…

  11. leoskeo

    I know what you mean Morphea, I knew this couple since they were kids just entering hight school, led them to Christ, discipled them and had spent 8 weeks with them in counseling already. Normally I would not be so abrupt. If you ever need counseling I promise to be gentle if you promise to grow.

  12. Morphea

    Trust me, Leo, I heard the frustration (and the history between you and them) loud and clear, and don’t think I don’t understand how the ‘therapee’ sometimes needs a kick in the pants. I was just saying that I’m a weenie. I’ve lied to therapists just so they won’t get That Look on their face. I’m sure you don’t get that look.

  13. Sara

    [quote comment="98493"]Mike and Zack: Counseling is now $125/hour. Remember that you get what you pay for. (he he he)[/quote]

    Good point. Which leads me to this: Is it normal for a therapist to tell you that she’d LOVE to listen to the list she asked you to write of 10 reasons you love your partner, but she has a dog at home who is hungry. Ouch!

    Oh but wait, please consider that she DID give some stellar relationship advice that she coined from the HIGHLY respected premiere authority on relationships….JADA PINKETT-SMITH! Ugh!

    leoskeo – “locked into a statistical certainty of premarital sex.” Take out the words “locked”, and statistical”, and “certainty” and I’m totally on board with you.

    However, if you have those statistics, I’d LOVE to see them!

    Paul – Perhaps you and “Pul” need to resolve your differences in couple’s therapy!
    :)

  14. The Real Chad

    $90/hr? $125/hr?

    Where are you all living? Montana?

    $160/hr!!! That’s more than I pay my BMW mechanic! Although it is totally worth it and I only end up paying $20. Thank God for health insurance. Oh wait. I’m getting screwed anyways!

    Back to the point, do you think those public fight people realize what asses they are making of themselves, or are they just totally oblivious and self-centered and they have no concept of public space or their effect on the world around them?

    I vote for the latter. I would love to see that go down and interrupt them to tell them to “shut up”, but I think they would have no idea what I was talking about and be offended by my interruption. But then again, I LOVE confrontation.

    I’m probably just uptight from spending all that money on therapy and BMWs and insurance and drugs and therapy. So much therapy.

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