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My First Time ‘Round (part 1)

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By michael lee ⋅ April 16, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

With Rod out recovering from surgery for a few weeks, the dean of the school of music asked me to step in and oversee the summer small groups. It’s the first thing I’ve done (like, ever, in my life) that’s more administrative than creative, but I’m happy to do it - it’s my small way of supporting Rod.

But getting up in the mix on this has gotten me thinking often about my own small group experience. Not the spectacular, talent-packed tours of my later years at APU, not the groups that spawned a half-dozen working pros and a group of friends that still hang out and teach each other’s kids dirty words.

No, I’m talking about my first small group experience. My very first. I was a freshman, a week into my college experience, and the School of Music was putting together a few groups to perform during the school year, at local churches on Sunday morning. I auditioned to play piano for one of the groups.

The Audition

The audition was … oh man. It was a hell of a thing. To fully appreciate how awful it was, you have to understand that back in the day, the School of Music was a cult of personality, and the whole program orbited around the gravitational pull of a man we called Doc. He put every small group together by divine fiat, and he did all the auditions himself, in front of a choir of 120, with everyone watching.

He asked me to play Amazing Grace. He asked everyone to play, or sing, Amazing Grace. It was one of his things.

The problem is, with a cult of personality, sometimes a punk kid comes into the orbit of the thing without knowing that you’re supposed to be all awe-struck and weak-kneed in The Presence. The cult sort of relies on everyone knowing that. It’s kinda the point of the cult.

I didn’t know that I was supposed to be in awe of the man - I thought he was a bit of a pompous ass. I decided to show him what a real musician could do.

So, I puffed out my chest and launched into a massive funk piano breakdown on “Amazing Grace”, complete with an intro stolen from a Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto. And in my funktastic version of Amazing Grace, there are 4 beats in every measure. It leaves a little extra room for my awesome piano pyrotechnics.

Imagine a 50-year-old retired Vegas showgirl wearing a bright pink fur coat with dangly plastic flamingo earrings and an orange fake-and-bake tan, still shaking her jiggly bits in a dank nightclub at Primm.

My arrangement of Amazing Grace was kinda like that.

About half-way through the 1st verse, Doc cued the 120 people in the choir to start singing along.

Did I mention my version was in 4/4, not 3/4? Yeah, it was also in minor.

Now picture yourself trying to ballroom dance with that Vegas showgirl.

(continued in part 2)

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Discussion

26 comments for “My First Time ‘Round (part 1)”

  1. If you put on Old Spice in the morning, you don’t wear Drakkar in the evening. There is peace.

  2. If I remember correctly, your arrangement caused me to feel green at first, but then shifted to purple.

  3. Hey, this means you get to give the speech:

    “Appropriate: During the last week of tour, ask, ‘Ya wanna hang out when we get back?’
    Inappropriate: ‘Let’s go make out!’”

  4. So it’s the second evening of rehearsal camp for the male chorale (a freshmen feeder group for University Choir & Orchestra)and I decide to hip Doc to the fact that while I appreciate Rod and “the guys”, the reason I came to APU was to sing in his choir. I let him know that I was ready to transfer to his group and wondered what time I ought to show for his rehearsal the next day.

    Oh the hubris!

    A couple of years ago the subject came up and Rod told me about the conversation he and Doc had that night and we laughed long and hard about the whole thing.

    Rod understands something significant about grace and the folly of youth.

  5. (in speaking about the 4/4 minor-key version of Amazing Grace)

    60% of the time, it works everytime…

  6. Wow. I can see the look on Doc’s face. I can see the look on the lead soprano’s face… and of course, I can see the brass section behind you.

    Please feel free to get to part 2 as soon as possible. Or is this one of those many one-of-a-series titles that you only tease us with, never to complete the collection?

  7. It totally cracks me up to think about the kids we were back then — how the APU School of Music felt like The Whole World and every decision and mistake felt Ultimate. Ash & I were talking about this a few years ago, and I threw out the idea that the SOM (back in the Doc days) was a microcosm of American corporations: a market-driven meritocracy run by an oligarch with large doses of nepotism thrown in to keep things interesting. No wonder I didn’t understand how to be successful…

  8. Something tells me that in 10-15 years we’ll look back on 2007 with the same sentiment.

  9. Mike: “Who wants to hear the same old ‘Amazing Grace’? Let’s make some changes…”
    Bryan: “So, Doc, at what time can I grace you with my 18 year-old voice?”
    Sharolyn: “Why do the woodwinds have so many whole notes?”

  10. Sharolyn,

    The best part is I was actually 17.

  11. You are correct.

    Yowsa.

  12. Is there going to be an Addison Road party when we have been protected from 100,000 spam comments?

  13. I’ve been watching the number creep upward - yeah, we should do something fun. Any ideas?

  14. Oh. That’s so funny. Please finish with part 2.

  15. [quote comment="75787"]I’ve been watching the number creep upward - yeah, we should do something fun. Any ideas?[/quote]

    The return of Taglines?

  16. Oh, dear effing god.

    [the return of taglines would be rad, but I refuse to bait Michael any further. That would be wrong, CHAD.]

  17. I guess you’re just not a master baiter.

  18. [quote comment="75968"]I guess you’re just not a master baiter.[/quote]

    I love my fifth grade friends.

    As for celebrating, I vote for much meat and beer at the new Hawkins-Ashmore crib. To really get in the mood, everyone could bring their own can of meat to throw on the barbie. You wouldn’t have to eat it, obviously, but themed parties are always nice.

  19. Don’t say anything meaningful without me.

    Can you wait until August? You know, celebrate “protected from 121,362 spam comments” or something like that?

    (jealous sigh)

  20. There will be plenty bbqs in August, too, and I’ve got a blow-up mattress with your name on it.

  21. Aly, I’ve tried that line many times. It’s not as successful as one might think.

  22. I just shot coffee through my nose. Thanks, Corey.

  23. [laughing] Master baiter. Awesome, Chad.

  24. Is anyone going to the reunion in June? My rockstar husband will be touring the nation so I am coming to CA with my kids and they like to BBQ.

  25. I think they reserve reunions for people who have actually graduated.

  26. [quote post="1365"]Something tells me that in 10-15 years we’ll look back on 2007 with the same sentiment.[/quote]
    Oh yeah. Trust me on this one…you can take it to the bank!

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