Do me a favor. Take that heart-felt emotional ballad you’ve just written, and place it in the hands of a trusted friend. Ask them to read the lyrics, and circle any metaphors they’ve heard before.
Then, cut them out. Do it now. Show no mercy. Think of a different way to say whatever it is you want to say. You’ll thank me 6 hours into the recording session.
Sincerely,
The guy
photo by Neil Wykes
Michael, my heart bleeds. Please don’t walk away - don’t leave me standing in the pouring rain. I would walk through fire for you. I’ve never felt this way before - nobody knows me like you. Please promise me you and I will go the distance. Together, forever. Our friends say our love won’t last but they just don’t understand. You’re my soul mate; it’s forever love.
Cerise
Cerise, our love has faded like the dust in the wind. I’m moving on, like a rolling stone, and a band of wild horses couldn’t keep me here.
I’m sorry if these words cut like a knife, but if you stay strong through this cold winter, the dawn will come again.
Fine. I’ll flip a quarter and take my chances with the strength I’ve found inside. No more lonely nights for me - I’m going to dance the pain away. I’ve got a full tank of gas (and some chips) and a prayer on my lips. I’ll find someone to watch over me.
Cerise
I wanna make sweet love to you both near the fireplace.
What. No good? Someone teach me.
Let’s have a “love from above” contest. Give us the lyric.
I thought of making up some bizarre, abstract (and hopefully funny) metaphor, but then I read that Mike uses the whole buffalo, and something about Aly’s chest being a C. I’m done.
Just another quiet night at the ol’ Addison Roadhouse.
I have a song title for somebody:
Because of Who We Shall Behold Being Lifted Up In Praise
It is, of course, for a Victoria’s Secret Ad.
Seriously, though…. I haven’t heard an original song in a LONG time.
Don’t expect to next week, either. That’s why arrangers will always be able to find work, polishing… well, you know.
gems?
Who cares if it’s been done before!? All you have to do is put the overused metaphors in a different order, and you have the “new original hit song of the century”. This my friends is songwriting.
I particularly like Mike’s mixed overused metaphor… “cold winter… dawn will come again”. Can I use that?
Thanks stick - I was particularly proud of that one.
Although, I must concede to Cerise in the crappy metaphor contest. She’s clearly the queen, higher than us all, up with the sun, like the birds in the sky, so high.
Ha! Thanks, Michael. You think that’s crap - you should hear my ’serious’ writing. Egads.
Cerise
You guys left out:
high horse
buring like the sand in the desert
tears like rain
straight to the heart
staring back at me
… and on and on and on (oops there’s another one)
oops, I did it again
This thread puts back together the pieces of my shattered dreams.
Other Chad, I did mention rain - but not tears like rain, you’re right. Ooh, ’staring back at me’. That’s good one.
Cerise
Ok, so what’s anyone’s truly favorite lyric?
One of mine is by Bruce Cockburn:
All the diamonds in this world
That mean anything to me
Are conjured up by wind and sunlight
Sparkling on the sea
I ran aground in a harbour town
Lost the taste for being free
Thank God He sent some gull-chased ship
To carry me to sea
Two thousand years and half a world away
Dying trees still grow greener when you pray
Silver scales flash bright and fade
In reeds along the shore
Like a pearl in sea of liquid jade
His ship comes shining
Like a crystal swan in a sky of suns
His ship comes shining.
When I first heard this song (circa 1990) I decided I’d never even try to be a song writer because, for me, this was the perfect song. Why bother? It was done…and I loved it.
So, I’m sitting here trying to wrtie a sappy love-ballad, and came to this thread for some inpiration. Good work, all.