100 Things, mostly about me

Blogging is primarily about prolonging adolescent narcissism. That being the case, I’ve decided to spend an entire post talking about my favorite topic, me. This works out well for you, the reader, since I happen to be a fascinating and utterly important person.

With apologies to TAN for the idea, here are 100 things, mostly about me.

  1. I started playing the piano because I couldn’t stand the fact that my brother could do something I couldn’t do.
  2. I’ve voted in every election for which I was eligible to vote, excluding a few local city elections.
  3. I lived in the same house growing up – my parents never moved.
  4. The longest I’ve ever spent sitting in one place doing the same thing was 48 hours. It was a video game. Morrowind.
  5. I really don’t like technology. I view it as a necessary evil that stands in between me, and the things I love to do.
  6. In order of preference: whiskey, beer, wine.
  7. I cheated my way into the state science fair. Not in the usual, have your parents help you way, but in the “elaborately faked the entire experiment” way.
  8. I am an Eagle scout.
  9. Give me any substance, and I can probably find a way to set it on fire (see #6, #8).
  10. I was introduced to Tower of Power by a guy named Rosy, after which I listened to them for 3 years straight.
  11. If I don’t know the answer to something, my first instinct is to bluff. It’s only been in the last few years that I’ve learned to overcome that impulse.
  12. I was adopted as an newborn, and raised by wolves. Ok, they weren’t wolves, but they were fundamentalists.
  13. I regularly claim to have read books that I’ve really only skimmed.
  14. I love new foods. I’m willing to try almost anything once.
  15. I don’t like listening to most jazz. I’d much rather play it than listen to it.
  16. In high school, I once very publicly made out with a girl that I knew was using me to get back at her ex-boyfriend. I didn’t care. I liked the kissing. This is really funny if you think about it – I can’t think of a worse person to use for your jealousy-inducing schemes than a chess-playing drum major.
  17. Oh yeah, I was the drum major in our high school marching band.
  18. My bloodlines are Irish, and my family lines are Norwegian. (see #12. and probably also #6.)
  19. I’ve camped in over 50 national parks. As a kid we used to drive in a big green van all summer long, just camping and fighting, camping and fighting.
  20. I can calculate gas mileage in my head to 2 decimal points. My dad used to make us do it when we stopped for gas.
  21. I went to college at APU because I didn’t have the grades to go anywhere else. Back in the day, with a high SAT score and a 2.2 GPA, you could still get in.
  22. The movie “Amadeus” was a significant event in my young musical development. For the first time I realized that music could help me with the ladies.
  23. I can’t do small talk. My one trick for surviving social situations is to constantly ask questions about the other person. They either find me fascinating, or they fake their own death until I wander away.
  24. In order of preference: B3, electric guitar, drums, bass, rhodes, piano, woodwinds.
  25. Corey Witt is the fastest friend I’ve ever made. 30 seconds after I met him, we were practically making out.
  26. I bought my first car for $50. It was a Chevy van. I bought it from the police chief of Camarillo, who was also one of the leaders in our boy scout troop.
  27. I’ve only been in two serious romantic relationships in my life. The first was an unmitigated train-wreck, from beginning to end. The second seems to be working out.
  28. I prefer to be contrary in debates. I’ll defend a position I don’t really believe just to be on the other side.
  29. I constantly joke about how advanced my daughter Sophia is, but the truth is, I really do think she’s a freekin’ genius.
  30. Sometimes, when students come by my office just to hang out, I just want them to go away and leave me alone. It’s hard to hide when you have a window in your door.
  31. There’s a growth under the skin on my back that I’ve been ignoring for 9 months.
  32. The two musical projects that have made me the most money are also the two that I’m the most embarrassed of.
  33. My 7th grade teacher died the summer after we were in his class. He spent summers on a commercial fishing boat in Alaska, his boat capsized, and he died of hypothermia. He was 30. I had nightmares my whole 8th grade year.
  34. I’m not very good at directing vocalists.
  35. While finishing my master’s degree, I took a post-graduate reading course in systematic ethics. It was the only time in my life that I sat in a class and thought, “I’m the dumbest person in this room. I actually might not have the raw mental horse-power to get through this with a passing grade.”
  36. I still believe that if I ever give it an honest shake, I can make a career as a singer-songwriter.
  37. You have to go three steps removed from my immediate family before you’ll find anyone who has been divorced. I’m proud of that, even though I don’t have anything to do with it.
  38. I hated youth group. It was a continuation of the social humiliation of high-school, but with some Jesus sprinkled in.
  39. I grew up believing that losing your virginity before marriage was just about the biggest sin any child could commit. In order of severity, it was above assault and battery, just below murder, tied with smoking.
  40. The patio at the Getty might be my favorite place in the world. We’ll see if that’s still true when we get back from Rome this summer.
  41. My senior year of college, I co-led a small group with Jud Shelton. It was one of the best creative partnerships I’ve ever had.
  42. My first jazz gig was for $20 and all the coffee you could drink. I had 12 espresso shots in two hours, and didn’t sleep for a week.
  43. I have a little crush on Susan Sarandon.
  44. I can’t tell if I have a massive inferiority complex that I overcompensate for with false ego, or if I’m a raging ego-maniac who masks it with false humility. Either way, I’m pretty much a disaster.
  45. I think I might have been born 20 years too late. I would have liked to have been a musician in the 70s.
  46. I find most post-WW2 visual art to be pretentious.
  47. My depression usually manifests as insomnia.
  48. I’ve written 9 books. And by written, I mean I started the forward and dedication, and then left it at that.
  49. I have a criminal record that was expunged when I turned 18.
  50. I take baths. Very, very hot baths.
  51. Jeans and a black T-shirt is pretty much my uniform.
  52. My blood type is O-negative. That makes me a universal donor. Anyone can drink my blood.
  53. The movie Philadelphia, the scene where Tom Hanks is explaining the aria to, I dunno, some other character? That was the first time I understood why people love opera.
  54. I listen to Public Radio, but I’ve never become a financial supporter. It’s a political thing. They can’t manage to get that condescending tone out of their voice whenever they talk about conservatives.
  55. The rehearsal dinner for our wedding was one of the most wonderful nights of my life. We are blessed with great friends, who also happen to be witty and engaging public speakers. This makes for a perfect rehearsal dinner.
  56. Anytime I’m about to call myself a fan of something, I stop and think about Ash his all-consuming love of U2, and then I don’t call myself a fan.
  57. I still get nervous every single time I walk through the door into my classroom to teach.
  58. I once struck out in T-ball. Do you know how bad you have to suck to strike out in T-ball? Three swings and I couldn’t hit a stationary target two feet in front of me. This was a pivotal moment in my sports career.
  59. I make up quotes, then attribute them to Benjamin Franklin, because it sounds more true if he said it.
  60. My mother is a nurse, and my father was a high school math teacher, and they own a million-dollar home, with no debt. I don’t think there will ever be another time in history when that will be possible.
  61. When my jeans don’t fit, I blame the dryer. I don’t think that’s the appliance that’s responsible, though. I think it’s the fridge.
  62. Age 21 was a good year for me. I think I came into possession of my own mind at age 21.
  63. Decorative styles, in order of preference: Shaker, Japanese modern, Restoration Hardware.
  64. When Gretchen was pregnant with Sophia, I sold my character in a text-based online role-playing game for $600, and bought a video camera and a nursery rocking chair. You might think it’s crazy that someone would pay me $600 for a character in a game with no graphics, but you have to keep in mind that it was a high-level archer / mage team with a complete set of elvish armor.
  65. I think most people who go to college shouldn’t. This is doubly true for graduate school.
  66. Jeff Buckley’s version of “Broken Hallelujah” might be the perfect recording.
  67. It’s hard for my to explain how important JP Moreland was to my rediscovered faith. I listened to him give a 2 hour lecture on the Kalaam Cosmological Argument for the existence of a creator, and I decided that night to go to graduate school and get a degree in theology.
  68. I scored a 1450 on my SATs. Just so you whipper-snappers know, that was back in the day, with the old SAT, back when 1450 really meant something.
  69. I once heard a worship leader describe the song “Shout to the Lord” as the new Amazing Grace. It made my stomach turn.
  70. I almost never go out of my way to listen to live music. I figure it it’s any good, it’ll eventually end up being played on MTV, and I’ll hear it during their Supa Jamz Remix Hour.
  71. I’m always mystified when people ask me, “How do you know that?” in response to some random piece of trivia I happen to know. Are there people out there who actually remember where all of their knowledge comes from? If so, they must be freekin’ geniuses.
  72. I still cringe when people around me use swear words. It’s a remnant of my conservative upbringing.
  73. Reading, in order of preference: science fiction, philosophy essays, historical fiction.
  74. I call myself an Evangelical Christian, but that might not mean what you think it means.
  75. I don’t have a sweet tooth. I would rather have something sour or salty, most of the time.
  76. I seem smarter than I really am when I’m chatting on IM, but it’s just because I’m really fast at googling.
  77. I was part of the beta-testing for Facebook, and was the first person with an apu.edu email account to sign-up.
  78. Writing for strings is one of my favorite things to do.
  79. At the beginning of this year, I deleted my myspace account. I don’t need that kind of pressure in my life.
  80. I think most people like talking about art more than they like experiencing it.
  81. I’ve never run a mile in my life.
  82. Our family didn’t have a television in the house until I was about 13.
  83. The mountains and the ocean form the quotation marks around my view of the world. I could never live in the mid-west.
  84. When I was younger, I used to ride my bike over the hill to the Catholic church, and sit in the back to pray, or play the piano if nobody else was in the sanctuary.
  85. I once played keyboards while wearing a pig-tailed wig and gingham dress on live television. It was for a Korean star-search type program, and I was in the house band.
  86. I can ski double-black-diamond runs without falling. As far as I can tell, this has zero potential as a crime-fighting superhero power.
  87. I picture the internet as a web of blue streams of light.
  88. At Ash’s bachelor party, I watched Hugh Hefner and his 7 bunnies step over the body of a drunk man who had just been tazered by the bouncers at The Barfly. It was a very LA moment.
  89. I became an Angel’s fan during their 2002 run-up to the world series.
  90. My parents kept a bookshelf of their old college textbooks right next to my bed when I was growing up. I fell asleep reading about things like economic theory.
  91. I learned a lot of what I know about how to be a man, a husband, and a father from my father-in-law.
  92. I have no allergies. At least, none that I’ve discovered. We’ll see if that’s still true when we get back from Rome.
  93. Writing parts for, in order of preference: altos, baritones, true basses, tenors, sopranos.
  94. A list of instruments that I have received money for playing professionally: piano and all manner of keyboards, saxophone, bassoon, electric bass, acoustic guitar, shaker, congas, voice, and accordion.
  95. I’ve never taken any illegal substance, but I would be curious to try marijuana, if it’s ever legalized. Like in Vegas or someplace.
  96. I believe that when the history of the United States is written in 500 years, there will be only 3 things that get discussed: our constitution, the civil rights movement, and Jazz.
  97. The most awkward meal of my life was sitting at a table across from Melissa Etheridge.
  98. I feel a little guilty about how easy my advancement in academic life has been. Don’t get me wrong, I believe I am qualified for my job, and I think I’m pretty good at it, but there are many people of whom that can be said, and most of them wait a lot longer than I have to find a full-time faculty position at a University. I owe Phil an enormous debt for his faith in me, and his belief that I’m the right person for my post. You all have no idea how big that guy’s guns are around this place. He could probably get Charles Manson an interview for the Professor of Ethics position, if he really tried.
  99. I am a mac fan-boy, and unashamed of it. It is beautiful technology.
  100. I rarely finish projects that I start, so I’m pretty proud of getting to #100. Beers all around! (but not for you APU students – when you drink it makes Baby Jesus cry. But when Professor Lee drinks, that’s perfectly fine, because … well, it just is. Deal with it.)