“My Lover is Mine” and she has freakin’ nipples!

Ash & Aly, you guys DOMINATE! Just got your Christmas gift today and was near blown away by the sheer beauty and understated–yet mesmerizing–sensuality of the poetry and images (omg–Cerise, you married to dat boy???). Bring on the Benjies, baby, that’s all I’m saying, one author to another! You a big tymer now…every couple getting married in Christendom gots to have dis book, tru dat? I mean, not enough badonkadonk butt or Osca Maya for my personal taste, but we makin’ good progress, brother and sister! I mean, like, isn’t Regal a Christian publisher? (And all this time Paul and I have been wasting our time on these painful legit tomes. Sigh.) I mean, like, aren’t those REAL NIPPLES I see? I’d love to have been on the discussions around that editorial round table! :-)

Okay, all kidding (and ghetto language that you’ll be shocked to know isn’t my first language) aside, I was moved and incredibly encouraged that a book like this could actually be published by and marketed without excuse or even some “hey-they’ve-got-the-predictably-subnormal-IQs-let’s-just-obfuscate” to the Christian community. Does this mean we’re making progress? Does this mean maybe I don’t have to evolve to the house church thing after all? Does this mean that my frazzled Sunday School teacher from 50 years ago is finally going to stop telling me that the Song of Solomon was all a metaphor (and we could just skip over it because it was so confusing)?

And when does the sequel come out. Cause, dang, my homie and me, we pretty much used up allsa pages da firstus nite. I’m just saying…

Baller status with this one, kids! Big do dap kudos!

Love, Teri

p.s. Can this blog count as my thank you card?

p.p.s. I got one word for the picture on the back of the dust cover: RAWR! Can I have a copy to frame for my refrigerator collection of Chad and Erica’s incredibly cool homies?

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About grammy

I am Paul's wife, Chad and Carrie's mom, Erica's mom-in-love, Ella's and Zion's grammy. I am a marriage and family therapist. I have been "emergent" since 1959 when my sunday school teacher didn't have a good answer to the question, "But what about the poor kid in deepest, darkest Africa who has never heard about Jesus?" I just didn't know there was a word for what I was until recently!

13 thoughts on ““My Lover is Mine” and she has freakin’ nipples!

  1. aly hawkins

    Apparently, learning to speak Urbanglish seemed like a very, very gizood idea at 12:30 AM.

    Thanks for the ups, Teri. I’m glad you like it!! To be honest, I’m still shocked that Regal put it out. (So to speak.) My boss, who’s the managing editor, calls MLIM “Aly’s Naked Book.” When we’re discussing marketing copy or something for it, he can’t make eye contact. It’s pretty awesome. I feel like the sex ed. teacher for 5th grade boys.

  2. Chad

    You are all so insensitive to people who look like Southern California suburban yuppie grandmothers, but type in ebonics.

  3. michael lee

    [quote comment="36093"]… people who look like Southern California suburban yuppie grandmothers, but type in ebonics.[/quote]

    I think it’s funny that you used the plural.

  4. Chad

    “And when does the sequel come out. Cause, dang, my homie and me, we pretty much used up allsa pages da firstus nite. I’m just saying…”

    My bad… Jar-Jar-bonics.

    My goodness, mother. Friends don’t let friends blog drunk.

    :)

  5. Zack

    Well now that I know that this book is basically Teri-Approved porn, I’m gonna go break in my Barnes and Noble gift card.

    “Cause, dang, my homie and me, we pretty much used up allsa pages da firstus nite. I’m just saying…”

    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little, yo.

  6. Morphea

    By the way, I don’t recall there being any nipples in this book. Do you have page numbers at hand, Teri (Teri with one R, and I sincerely apologize for misspelling it previously)? I guess watching Ramon fume whilst shaving off nipples and obscuring belly buttons and draping lovely curves lead me to believe that almost all body parts had been eradicated. I’m pleased to be mistaken.

    Wish you could have seen the unedited versions…Christian Sensual. Chuh.

    Cerise

  7. grammy Post author

    Cerise: Oh, is there ANY way Ramon can email me some of the pre-toned-down artwork? No, I’m really serious! Total nippleage on page 16. I dare Ramon to deny it. And I didn’t know about Gizoogle until your post. I almost didn’t make it to the potty in time (the 6th decade of life is not kind to the bladder’s ability to hold it together).

    ob·fus·cate / ob-fuh-skeyt
    1. to confuse, bewilder, or stupefy.
    2. to make obscure or unclear: to obfuscate a problem with extraneous information.
    3. to darken.

    Okay, so I was going to do something very sexual with this, but once again, it’s after midnight and I’m just going to embarrass myself if I continue…

  8. Karen

    Our church has a Bible Study on Song of Solomon right now. I went this week and they were on the Honeymoon. I made a suggestion that people pick up your book at Amazon.

    You haven’t lived until you have heard a redneck Bible teacher talking about hunting and breasts.

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