Mr. Popular

Chris Watters of St. Petersburg, Florida has a special technique for greeting Halloween Trick-Or-Treaters:

“Rather than skip the neighborhood ritual, he’s put a Christian stamp on it. For the third year in a row, kids will leave his porch with a piece of candy, plus a religious tract - a concise, colorful handout telling how to attain salvation through Jesus Christ. ‘If they want supernatural, let’s give them Godly supernatural,’ Mr. Watters says.”

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the most popular man in the neighborhood. For his sake, I hope he knows how to clean up flaming poo.

15 Responses to “Mr. Popular”


  1. 1 1 aly hawkins

    As long as there’s candy, I think Mr. Watters is safe from flaming poo. I know I wouldn’t think twice about taking a religious tract that came with sugary goodness. Unless it’s candy corn. Candy corn is the devil.

  2. 2 2 Chad

    So…

    Just out of curiousity, do you object to this on moral grounds, or on “it’s just so hopelessly uncool” grounds?

  3. 3 3 Zack

    I am a firm believer of the following: When someone comes ‘a knockin on MY door, they’re subject to MY beliefs - not the other way around. I didn’t ask to be made uncomfortable in my own home. I operate under this mantra on the other 364 days of the year where candy isn’t handed out, too.

    I think that dude is doing what he feels is right, and he’s doing it on his own terms, in his own place. I say more power to him. I don’t object to him at all.

    But you know damn well (Aly) that Mr Watters is totally screwed when it comes to flaming shit bags and soaped up windows…

  4. 4 4 Chad

    Ok, cool….

    Just curious. I don’t hand out tracts on Halloween (or any of those other 364 days) either, but I was thinking along those lines. The guy has a right to express himself.

  5. 5 5 grammy

    But are they “Chick” tracts? Cause…DAMN…I’m not sure the first amendment includes Chick tracts. Seriously.

  6. 6 6 Morphea

    Right you are, uh, Grammy. Seriously…Grammy? Come on now. Someone this sexy can only Grammy if we all mean it ironically. Was I the last one to figure that one out?

    I say he has the right to express himself IF THAT INCLUDES CANDY. The candy is the pivotal decider. Well, he can express himself with tracts and “wash your sins away” soap (it exists) if he likes, but then I fully endorse flaming poo bags. You can’t think I’m not doing some serious eye-rolling at the whole tract thing, though. Yeesh.

    Cerise

  7. 7 7 Sharolyn

    Does anyone know of an actual person who became a Christ-follower as the result of a tract?

  8. 8 8 Chad

    is there anyone who ever remembers
    changing their mind from the paint on a sign?

    is there anyone who really recalls
    ever breaking rank at all
    for something someone yelled real loud one time?

    oh, everyone believes
    in how they think it oughta be
    oh, everyone believes
    and they’re not going easily

    I guess it’s John Mayer lyrical quote week for me.

  9. 9 9 corey

    homo.

  10. 10 10 grammy

    HA HA HA HA HA! Corey, I love your posts!

  11. 11 11 Karen

    Bobby took the kids out trick or treating last night while I stayed home and handed out candy. We didn’t get any tracks (this is the buckle of the Bible Belt you would think we would have gotten some). We did however get an invitation to Sunday School at one of the Mega Churches close by. I thought that was a pretty good idea plus it came with tootsie rolls!

  12. 12 12 Zack

    Mmmm…tootsie rolls.

    (Cue Corey)

  13. 13 13 corey

    that’s shit.

  14. 14 14 Zack

    LOL! Nice….

  15. 15 15 Zack

    Sidenote: Since I spent Halloween sicker than a dog, Sara and I decided to go to Best Buy and get a scary movie. Our purchase? Schindler’s List - quite possibly one of the scariest movies ever made. Sigh….

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