TBAIP, Part 1: Teri

Welcome to the first post in a new series, which I’m calling This Blog Attracts Interesting People (TBAIP). Here’s how this works – I pick somebody who is a regular reader, and I ask them some questions. They have to either answer the questions, or send me $480 (cash only – I don’t trust you people).

First up in the batting order is Teri, sometimes known around these parts as Grammy. In real life, Grammy is the very hawt mother of Chad, and the grandmother of Ella, an accomplished Marriage and Family Therapist, a leader with Crisis Pregnancy Centers, and part-time bikini model. Those of you out there in readerland who are hipsters-in-training with your $200 vintage beaded pants, if you want to know what the real thing looks like, ask Teri about her days as a real-life Hippie! (if you can catch her between acid-induced flashbacks, that is)

So, Teri, lend us your time, and answer these questions 3.

1) I’m giving you a magic megaphone. It is purple, with sparkles, but that’s not what makes it magic. What makes it magic is this: if you say something into it, the person you are talking will actually hear you. No defensiveness, no dissembling, no nodding then forgetting. You can see how useful this would be. If you brought this megaphone to work with you, what phrase do you think you would most often say with it during therapy sessions?

2) Let’s talk about Paul. What’s the deal? I mean, nice guy and all that, and he seems to be slightly above average in the intelligence, personality, wisdom, patience, income, friendship, godliness, compassion, and snappy dressing categories, but apart from that, what did you ever see in the guy? Here’s what I really want to know: free-as-a-daisy hippie chick marries “the man”. 30-some years later, who won? Is he more like you, or are you more like him?

3) I hope this isn’t awkward for you, but I’m actually trying to build a Teri from scratch, using spare parts from other bikini models, and a few facial features from Michelle Pfeiffer. Once I get Clone Teri up and running, I’m planning on sitting her down with some books and DVDs, so that she has some of the same influences on her thinking that you’ve had. What should go on the required reading / watching list?

Swing away, my dear. Feel free to take them one at a time if you want.

41 thoughts on “TBAIP, Part 1: Teri

  1. grammy

    Oh my gosh. I just spent the last solid hour answering these questions, and then lost the link!!! Sigh. And I was so eloquent! Now you’ll just have to wait another day because I’ve got to get to bed so I can be at church early. :-(

    But I like Aly’s answers very well. Maybe you should just all come up with your own answers BEFORE I give mine! :-)

  2. grammy

    1. Get it as early as possible in life: your worth is not based on any characteristic or accomplishment; your worth is based on relationship. A parent loves a child not because that child is handsome, talented, intelligent, athletic, achieving, or compliant; a parent loves his/her child simply because it is their child. It springs from the relationship, not because the child has proved useful in some way. Why is this understanding of worthiness so foundational? Because until you understand this, you are enslaved to a life of preoccupation with yourself. And there’s nothing more miserable than a human being who is continually trying to prove that he or she is worthy.

    2. And on to a more delicious topic: My first husband! What did I ever see in him? The first time I laid eyes on him was when he walked in late to a party hosted by mutual friends, straight off call and garbed in hospital duds. I nearly wet my pants. Lord, but he was sexy! And he was everything I wasn’t: responsible, intelligent, a Young Republican (the guy got his hair cut every other week…in the early 70s). So basically I put my considerable feminine charms into high gear and secured the deal. Poor guy never knew what hit him. Who “won”? Well, without him, I’d probably be in prison by now. And without me, he would have led a very, very, very boring life. I’d say we both pretty much “won” on this arrangement! :-) And he’s still the sexiest guy in the local galaxy.

    3. Oh wow. Authors: McLaren (natch), Donald Miller, anything and everything SciFi, Howatch. Movies: Babette’s Feast, The Black Stallion, and Mad Max.

    Michelle Pfeiffer??? I don’t see it, but I am highly complimented, Mike!

  3. aly hawkins

    This blog DOES attract interesting people!

    Teri, #1 is why you’re such a damn fine therapist. Oh, that I could get this into my thick, thick skull…where is that magic purple sparkly megaphone?

    And Babette’s Feast never fails to bring on the waterworks — beautiful, beautiful parable of grace.

  4. Jeremy

    Babette’s Feast is great and all but no one has commented on the fact that someone with the handle of “Grammy” lists Mad Max as a must watch film?!!! Holy Crap! This is the biggest statement about this blog that you can get. I love it.

    But seriously…Mad Max is great but the Road Warrior is where it’s at as far as George Miller’s brilliant trilogy goes. God, I hope this post devolves into a flame war about who is a better villain, Toecutter or The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla himself, Lord Humongous. Me I think a gigantic greased up homoerotic bondage dude in a hockey mask is the scariest thing I have ever seen…

    So, Mike, cool idea. I have new respect for the caliber of reader you have here.

  5. grammy

    I don’t know, Jeremy…tough call. Toecutter has, you must admit, the hottest boots in all of post-apocalytic creation (and the eyeshadow–he is just so cute!). But the leather strapping on The Humongous almost makes me swoon. Yeah, I’d say there are some sexual overtones going on with the costumer on these two shows. And BTW, when I say “Mad Max,” I’m including all three of the movies. And yes, I DO agree that RW was the most fun!

  6. corey

    Well Mike, here’s the deal:

    Mad Max 4: Fury Road would be the fourth of the Mad Max movies. Although the project was given the green light for a $100 million USD budget, Fury Road was in hiatus apparently due to security concerns related to trying to film in Africa while the United States and many other countries have tightened travel and shipping restrictions. It is currently in pre-production.

    Mel Gibson said that he does not wish to work on a “Mad Max” film, not because he doesn’t like the series, but because he doesn’t consider himself physically able to play Max anymore. He even joked saying that the movie would be called “Fat Max”. He has said he would not do the film without George Miller, the series’ writer and director, and suggested that Max ought to die in the movie.

    There have been rumors flying around the Internet for years about a possible plot. Ideas range from taking place after Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome to a prequel, telling the story of the Main Force Patrol prior to the original film, Mad Max.

    I hope that helps.

  7. grammy

    And speaking of sexy. I forgot to mention the most important part of the answer to question #2. Paul puts any of you young pups to shame in a certain department that I have the decency to refrain from actually saying out loud in this dignified forum. Don’t let the baggy pants and untucked shirt fool you — he’s my “Mel” through and through. (Actually, he’s probably a little more preferable to Mel on so many, many levels, come to think of it…)

  8. Morphea

    Dear god, Jeremy. That’s just wrong.

    Grammy – can you PLEASE stop with the Grammy, by the way? Unless you mean it ironically, in which case it’s pretty funny. But you’re obviously not a very typical Grammy…

    So, Teri – I’ve said it before – I need to meet you in person just to make sure you actually exist. Because you sound extraordinary. And you spawned The Chad? Yeh – gotta meet’cha.

    Wish you were my Grammy.

    Cerise

  9. grammy

    Oh, how happy I am! I’ve managed to gross out Mike and Carrie in one swell foop, and Chad is obviously stunned into silence (praying that this thread just hurries and disappears).

    Yes, Cerise, I really am a 55-year-old bonified ex-hippie-cum-EC Grammy.

  10. Paul

    I should add that she remains the most beautiful, safe, sane, intuitive person in my life after 31 years (actually 32 and a half, if you include our amazing courtship).

  11. Carrie

    Mom, upon reading again (very early this morning), I’m humming and hawing over the whole “Mad Max” thing. I mean, I’ve known about the Mel obsession for years (minues the whol drunk anti-semetic rant portions), but I wasn’t aware you were such a Mad Max fan. I’ve never seen you watch one of those movies. They probably sell them in a DVD set, do you want them for Christmas? I mean, I know I’m making you that femmy cross-stitch, but if you want “Road Warrior” as well, that could make a very juxtaposing gift…

    You should know that when I sit on Susan my therapist’s couch, you and my daddy’s virtues are extolled on a weekly basis. I think one of the reason’s I’ve had a lot of trouble finding a life partner is because you guys have set the bar so high — and I want to thank you for it. I could’ve settled, long ago, when I was super-fat, for some guy, just because SOMEONE paid attention to me (remember Justin, scary stalker guy?). But if YOU each found your Prince and Princess Charming, and so did my prince brother and his princess wife (and their new generation of prince and princess), then someday MY prince will come as well.

    (I should mention that “Someday My Prince Will Come” is one of my three theme songs. The other two happen to be Meredith Brooks’ “Bitch” and the Dixie Chicks’ “Sin Wagon.” I swear I am not kidding.)

  12. grammy

    Aw…I feel so warm and fuzzy all over with all this feedback! Carrie, your prince hasn’t been identified yet because you’ll have to find someone whose theme songs are “Come Thou Found of Every Blessing,” “Amhran na bhFiann,” and Morrissette’s “A Man.” Oh yeah, and he’ll have to groove on Enya. Don’t worry…he’s on his way.

  13. june

    (I feel I should say: that has zero meaning behind it. I just thought it would be funny to say. Ok, going away now…)

  14. grammy

    YES, Carrie–I would love the MM trilogy for Christmas! I haven’t seen it in so long! I’m starting the popcorn…

  15. Morphea

    ALL of the Left Behind movies? ALL of them?

    Please, someone, tell me he meant, “We haven’t seen ANY of the Left Behind movies yet.” Please.

    Please?

  16. Sharolyn

    (Grammy’s body suddenly vanishes… only the pile of her clothes sit on the computer chair…)

  17. Sharolyn

    Teri, I just watched an hour-long story on PBS about Lonnie Frisbee, a hippie Christian from Southern Cal associated with Calvary Chapel and the Vineyard Movement. I half expected to see your face in the background. My mind is currently blown by his life story. Did you know these people?

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