you know those guys who use their blogs to display videos of their children? I’m those guys. Thought you all might need a little friday lift, so here it is: the most joyful child in the world.
Monthly Archive for June, 2006Page 4 of 8
Vandals!
I work in a small office in North Hollywood. We source and custom fabricate vehicles for the film and television industries, as well as operate a race team. Today, I was walking by the front door and noticed 2 kids standing on the sidewalk outside, in front of one of our transport vehicles: A custom-built Freightliner Semi Truck we use to transport our race truck. Their back turned towards me, they seemed to be hovering over the front fender of the truck, paying close attention to something.
Then I saw it. The overspray from a paint can.
I burst out the door, and collared the kid holding the paint. His friend wisely hot-footed it down the road at an estimated 130 MPH. My fresh catch started to squirm and get free of my grasp, asking me “What the #%$% are you doing?!?!”. I just hauled him inside the office and locked the door behind me.
I sat him down in the main office, and said, “You know what you did. I know what you did. Now you get to make the only decision you’re going to make for a while: Do you want me to call the cops, or do you want me to call your mom? Choose wisely.” (I actually said this, and almost laughed out loud. C’mon - who quotes Indiana Jones movies to 11 year-old vandals?)
He replies, “No one! I don’t want you to call no one!”
“Kid. I told you your only options, now pick one.”
“Fine. Call my mom.”
“Cool. Now give me the number once. If it’s the wrong number, or no one answers, I’m calling the cops. No second chances.”
He recites a phone number. He recites it slowly and perfectly monotone. I know it’s the right number…
I call his mom. She’s a single mother, and she’s at work in Los Angeles. There’s no way she can leave work and come pick him up. She’s very apologetic about the situation, and agrees to pay for the damages. Fortunately, we have a guy who works here who paints/fabricates/stuff here in our shop, and he’s able to remove the paint without much effort…She’s thrilled, and thanks me profusely. I recommend that she send her son to our office/shop next week for a few days - we’re gonna have him work it off. She agrees, so next week we’ll have another employee. The kid spoke to his mother on speakerphone (by this time, every employee in the office is hanging around to see the outcome) and she laid into him. Honestly, if I was that kid, I would have rather dealt with the police than his mother….which brings me to something else…
The entire time I was dealing with this, I was actually very nervous. I only realized after the fact, that my hands were shaking. I know what that kid was feeling. When I was his age, I was doin’ my fair share of vandalism. And stealing stuff. And crashing stolen cars. And eventually, seeing the inside of a Juvenile Detention Facility. (The facility linked is brand new - I stayed at the old one.) I remember EXACTLY what it feels like to be collared; nervous with terrified anticipation, and completely paralyzed with the fear of the punishment my apprehender would bestow. Remembering the rumors you heard from “friends” about their experiences with The Law. Knowing there’d be no more Nintendo, playtime, friends, desert - or in my case, good ol’ fashioned freedom. Not grounded, mind you. But locked-the-eff-up.
I feel your pain, kid. I really do. I know how badly you wish you could turn back time - just for an hour. With just an hour of your life back, you could have refused your friends taunt to spray metallic gold Krylon on the side of someone’s vehicle. I know you’re on your way home now, and you’re breathing fast and shallow. You are trying to calm yourself down by scripting the scolding you’ll receive from your mom; convincing yourself that You’re wondering if the people that caught you are really going to make you work in their shop for a week.
Well kid, they are. You’re going to scrub and sweep and polish and clean and dump garbage until you go crazy. But you know what? it sure as hell beats crying yourself to sleep behind a locked door on a metal bed, feeling like you’re a million miles from home. I guarantee it.
Like tarot cards? Love “Hello Kitty”? Together at last!
Once again, I feel compelled to tell ya’ll ’bout some music. Actually, just the two records that have been burning up the hard drive on my iPod….
Rose’s Pawn Shop - “The Arsonist”
About a million years ago, I played some music with Paul Givant. My folks had this odd empty room in their house with high ceilings, and hardwood floors. I wrote just about my entire catalog in that room. I invited Paul over to play drums (his instrument of choice at the time) and we cranked out some junk. Key word: Junk. Nowadays, Paul is the guitarist/singer of an incredible alt-country thang called Rose’s Pawn Shop. Maybe it’s his instrument switch. Maybe it’s his relocation out of Simi Valley. But for whatever reason, this band rules. Fans of Old Crow Medicine Show and early Wilco need apply. You can buy the album at their website (along with a host of other well-designed goodies) - or just call Paul and he’ll drop off a copy for ten bucks. (No kidding.) I know that we all tend to “talk up” our friends records, ’cause we want them to succeed, and all that other garbage. If you don’t know me, you should know that I NEVER DO THAT. I’m the first one to tell you that your new “industrial noise project” or your “roots-pop” record sounds like a cat being ritually excecuted. In the case of Rose’s Pawn Shop - I will gladly buy your copy if you don’t like it…
Sigur Ros - “takk”
Delicious. Inventive. Unique powerhouse. Iceland. Basically, it’s like sonic porn for the junk that resides between your ears. Good for doing anything that involves breathing.
(My previous declaration of Sigur Ros hailing from Sweden, was not only incorrect, but riot-inducing, apparently. I’m leaving on a cruise in 2 days, so I’m not thinking of much else…)
Scooped! Somebody captured 3 new apple vs. windows ads on a video camera phone from the production studio, and posted them online. Check them out: Awesome out of the box, Make amazing stuff, and Macs do windows too. (ht: apple insider)
As you were saying: