Old People Suck
Posted: June 4th, 2006 | Author: michael | Filed under: art and culture, church, life | Tags: armenian, art and culture, church, gig, life, stevie-wonder | 14 Comments »So, I got fired from a wedding gig last night, half-way through the set.
Jud Shelton got a call a few months ago to sing at a wedding reception for a hoity-toity affair at the St. Regis in Dana Point. The thing was, they only wanted him to sing 3 songs, but they wanted a whole back-up band just for him. The rest of the reception was going to be played by an Armenian band. Ok. No worries. I have no problem with getting paid a hundred bucks a tune to backup one of my favorite singers of all time. Not to mention that the bride and groom were huge Stevie Wonder fans, so we were working up tunes like “Ribbon In The Sky” and “Sunshine of My Life“, so all in all, this thing was primed to be a great gig.
We finished the first song, “Ribbon in the Sky”, and the wedding coordinator said, “Hey guys, why don’t you go ahead and pack up your stuff. We’re not going to need you to sing those other songs. Here’s your check.” We were being fired.
So, it took a little while for Jud to sort out what had happened, but it turns out that it went a little something like this: the bride and groom loved our stuff, but the whole generation of aunts, uncles, grandmas and grandpas felt that it was deeply offensive to have “American Music” at an Armenian wedding. So, the whole way through soundcheck, rehearsal, and the first part of the reception, they were making disparaging comments to the bride about her choice of music, and how she was dishonoring the family by having her first dance be to a Stevie Wonder tune. Finally, after the first tune, she called us off.
I think Jud captured it perfectly when he said, “We were playing second service music for a first service crowd.” It felt exactly like that. Now, I know that the title of this post is patently unfair, and the kind of dishonest generalization that makes the writer seem foolish and impolite. What I mean to say is this: there is a certain kind of old person that sucks. They are the kind who attach moral weight to personal preferences, and who would ruin a bride’s joy for the sake of enforcing that preference. And I realize that this is not the exclusive crime of the old; people my age do it, people younger than I do it. But last night it was, it was young verses old, and the old had the power and the money, and the young lost out.
Don’t ruin the bride’s joy. If she wants to dance to Stevie Wonder, find your joy in the fact that she is dancing. Let her smile ignite your own. Don’t disrupt the feast. You are a guest in the company of a sacred bliss, and the cackling of discontent is wholly inappropriate.
“…the kind who attach moral weight to personal preferences…” Wow! a universal sin! I pray we don’t fall into that. Oh well, at least you got to be in bed before 2 AM.
“…the kind who attach moral weight to personal preferences…”
For more information, check out:
http://www.sliceoflaodicea.com
:)
Wait a sec,
Are you SURE it wasn’t due to Jud’s singing? I mean… that guy is really overrated. And he’s a jerk. And he’s not at all good looking or talented. And he dresses funny.
“…the cackling of discontent is wholly inappropriate.” So like the different aspects of the Church sniping at each other instead of celebrating the wonderful one God whom they all worship and love.
Right on.
Yeah it sucks to get fired but what the heck, you got paid and got to go home early.
I wonder if there might something to the concern of the critics that caused the cancel. In the US of A we have been told and taught that weddings are the bride’s day and it’s all about the bride. Western romantic notions of marriage have led to weddings being a narcissitic celebration of the brides’s preferences and fantasy. I wonder if weddings are more appropriately seen as communal events that indeed celebrate the union and love of bride and groom but point to something bigger than a bride or groom’s personal preferences. Community and cultural preferences maybe should be given some weight in the nuptial celebration. The marriage of a man and woman is bigger than the starry eyed couple. We marry from families and into families by the confirming of the covenant we particpate is something of transcendent proportions.
Just a comment from the “old people” side since now I am one of them.
Doug,
A wholehearted AMEN on the issue of the “Bride’s Fantasy Day,” mentaility. I know the brides are not completely to blame, as they have been fed a notion of The Day since they were wee ones.
I think my favorite weddings are the ones where the bride and groom have the self awareness to celebrate the day and their people as much as themselves. The hope that they would, in that context, celebrate their Lord is, for me, a given.
It’s all balance. I should be a Christian Fung Shui Lifecoach.
Hmm… at my own wedding, the preacher insisted on sticking in some stuff I had specifically asked NOT be included. He didn’t tell me he would do it. He just did it. I had two choices: go along, or make a big deal of it. I went along, to avoid embarassing my bride.
Old people DO suck. Unfortunately, most of the 18 yr olds that I know ARE old, already. Doubt me? Try teaching them something new that they don’t know they need to learn. You’ll find out fast just how stuck-in-a-rut they are.
My mother, age 91 (almost) is YOUNG. She learns new stuff all the time. She learned how to use a computer at the age of 80. Do you think YOU’LL learn something new at the age of 80 that barely existed when you were 60? You can let me know, then… via seance, of course.
Besides…. Armenian music has too many augmented seconds.
Oh, I left a huge fan of Armenian music. The band rocked. Also, let’s not go tossing around that phrase “augmented 2nd”. It’s more like “flat-ish suspended 4th of what would be a 4 of 4 if it resolved, which it won’t.”
Ok…this comment has little (read nothing) to do with the post. But I will say that I have known Doug (at least I think it’s the Doug I know. The ‘I’m old’ comment sold it) for a few years now and that might be the best thing that I have heard him say. He will cringe at that because I regularly hear him speak of vastly more important matters but what the heck…I hate the idea of magical days that were dreamed about from youth that can never possibly live up to the fantasy and in the mean time I have to put up with that crap…man am I bitter or what? Moving on….
Anyway. The point of my post.
WRITE MORE!
Seriously….this blog has now made it to the most venerable and elite folder in my computer: The “Daily” bookmark folder. Yes, Addidonrd.com is in such esteemed company as myspace, the drudgereport, and engadget. And if I had my druthers, everytime I was waiting for a Fusion Flow to render, or a 50 layer 4k matte painting to finish blurring in pshop I would be able to alt tab over to addy road (thats what the fans call it) and there would be a new link to something cool or a profound tretise on the social implications of leading actors sporting mullets while debating the history of goddess worship and how that relates to the first council of nicea. (that was a good one I tell you what….)
So yeah….that’s it. Write more. And if that means you have to quit your day jobs or move to night shifts in order for this to happen I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.
I love the nerdy music theory being thrown around here.
And that hottie picture of Jud!
Jeremy, I agree we should all contribute and write. Nothing I think of ever seems witty, articulate, and clever enough for “Abby Road”, but I guess it is always a little scary to put yourself out there.
Lastly… this web site has fans?
Jeremy – I write one sentence for every ad you click on. It’s out of my hands.
To think I put all that work into those sunday sermons and I get the most response from Jeremy from a few off the cuff comments here. Maybe I should just post some thoughts I have here and go kayaking at 10 AM on Sunday.
sounds good. I’ll play the Hillsongs worship DVD for the first 30 minutes, then we’ll have Cindy Ofringa read your lastest blog post.
It’s church 2.0
OK, your title *is* unfair, but this is a great parable of what happens in so many groups and churches.
“Don’t ruin the bride’s joy. If she wants to dance to Stevie Wonder, find your joy in the fact that she is dancing.” Ah, yes! Too often we try to dictate how she should dance, then huff and puff about the fact that she walks off the floor. Too easy to forget that it’s not about the bride being just like mom and grandma, it’s about her learning the joy of the dance.
Thanks for the reminder!