Phreaky Phriday: Clash of the Skin-Tite Gospels

Everybody remember our friend Carla Rolfe, from EmergentNo, the one who’s pretty sure that we’re all going to hell because we’re not pre-millenial dispensational, truly reformed inerrantists? Well, apparently, she’s trying to raise some scratch for her fancy web-site thingy, and she’s doing it by selling skin-tight camisoles with the 5 “Solas” emblazoned across the bossomly area. Seriously. Go buy yours today. (Anybody wanna custom one for me that ends with “Sola Hot!”

Picture 1-21

Let it never be said that we younger folks don’t learn at the feet of our elders. Stephanie Woodward at Oh Me of Little Faith has posted the first in her new line of designer jeans for emergents:

I know what somebody’s getting for Mother’s day!

26 thoughts on “Phreaky Phriday: Clash of the Skin-Tite Gospels

  1. michael lee Post author

    Gretchen, just to clarify, you’re getting both the top and the jeans for mother’s day. It’s a confrontational gospel matching set.

  2. Morphea

    Wow, um…get. So that’s what Carla looks like. Did you notice she also sells products entitled: “Midnight Wolves”? I really think that says it all.

  3. Morphea

    Oh. [sigh] Again? OK, got it, snarky, pointless, naysayers, yeah yeah, godly layering, blah blah blah. Two questions:

    1. Do you know any teenagers who would be caught dead wearing anything called a “pretty blouse”?


    2. Have you seen Carla’s picture blog?

  4. Morphea

    And did those words point you toward a deeper relationship with Christ? Is your focus now on things above (and I don’t mean her two ‘Soli Deos’ either, pervert)?

  5. Zack

    Morphea, to answer your question – No, I did not find a deeper relationship with Christ. really, it only makes me ponder one question:

    “Nice ass. Can I wear it as a hat?”

  6. Morphea

    OK – I just really looked at Carla’s pictures – the whole photoblog – and can now say the following things about her:

    1. She loves birds.
    2. Her family puts birdfeeders all around their house and stocks them with seed, suet, and even oranges.
    3. She makes luscious-looking cake.
    4. Her youngest has hair like cornsilk.
    5. She has some sort of beautiful Australian-sheepdog looking dog named Dougal.
    6. She has a lovely black cat named Mama.
    7. Her farmhouse is frigging palatial.
    8. Her (I think) oldest is somewhere around 19-20 and looks like she has a goofy sense of humor.
    9. Carla likes to take close-ups of her kids’ eyes and Photoshop little hearts and spirals into their pupils. Sounds creepy, looks cool.
    10. She names the birds that visit her home.
    11. Her husband (I think) Kev’s BBQ looks amazing.
    12. This is her and her kids:
    13. A baby weasel died in their garage – possibly killed by their cat – and they gave it a sad farewell.
    14. She loves tulips.
    15. SHE has a goofy sense of humor – gives her kids silly names in their photographs.
    16. Her daughters are beautiful.
    17. She has a naughty-looking tabby named Wishbone.
    18. There’s a picture of her with a baby sparrow perched on her hand.
    19. Look at this:
    20. And this:
    21. The family plays baseball in their yard in the summer.
    22. She has faeries in her garden.
    23. She’s Canadian, which automatically makes her cooler than me.

    I conclude three things from this list:

    A. I don’t have enough to do at work.
    2. I’m a creepy woman who looks at the photo blogs of her foes.
    Salty. Enough. I can’t dislike this woman. Hell, I’d like to spend a couple of weeks with her and her family. I don’t care what her ideology is – never go to EmergentNo anyway – the sight of her German Chocolate cake and her son doing his impression of a sand crab have absolutely made me fall in love with her.

    Not trying to teach us all a little something or be all “ooh, I’m sensitive” or anything. Just had a good time at her photo blog.

  7. Ash

    Can’t say I agree with Carla’s Theology, but she does, in fact, seem like a lovely human being. May God continue to bless her and her family.

  8. Morphea

    No, nor I.

    But then, Ash, I can’t really agree with yours, either. The pulpit-pounding, preaching to R. and I against the evils of alcohol, making Aly submit…

  9. Morphea

    Right, right, AND – lest we forget – the wanton consumption of small, tender children. Keep the little lady close, mon ami.

  10. Zack

    2 years of school to learn Avid, Final Cut, and Photoshop, and THIS is what I do with it? Praise God, indeed.

  11. 4given

    I totally agree with Carla’s theology, have a 5 solas cami and I homeschool 6 kids. Carla ROCKS!!!

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