Anxiety
I don’t know what set it off. I think probably nothing set it off. I was just in our kitchen, and Gretchen was feeding Sophia, I was was heating up some food, and suddenly, it was all I could do to keep from crumbling to the floor. I couldn’t keep a single thought in my mind. I couldn’t control my hands enough to stir the food. I was 3 feet underwater, thrashing, waiting for air, but being pushed under by dread, nausea, panic.
Maybe 10 minutes passed. Gretchen was eating in the living room, and I was still in the kitchen. I couldn’t control my hands – they were clenching and unclenching so hard that I still have marks on my palms. I couldn’t catch my breath. I was angry at myself for not being able to do a simple task like take a plate down out of the cupboard, but I couldn’t focus my thoughts long enough to do it. Every new sound or movement around me sent my mind spinning out of control, like it was trying to take in a thousand conversations at once, and not being able to follow any of them.
You know the kind of depression that lasts weeks at a time? It was like that, all compacted into one frenetic quarter of an hour. Maybe 5 minutes passed. I was bent over in half, focussing on the floor of the kitchen, taking long breaths, trying to regain control.
I think I had my first anxiety attack tonight. It was awful.
Technorati Tags: anxiety, panic, clinical insanity
Oh my! Sounds like a panic attack – I think I get mild ones sometimes, but nothing as intense as what you are describing. Will you be checking this out with someone, perhaps your doctor?
no no, larry, that’s not how these things work. you ignore them, and then they go away.
Geez, Michael. I’m so sorry. I will pray for you (and Gretchen & Sophia).
I think you’re on the right track with ignoring your symptoms, because I’m pretty sure an attack of this kind doesn’t indicate important emotional or psychic work that needs to be resolved.
I was going to make a smarmy comment about how you’re being punished by God for your errant ways, and then I thought better of it. You’re going to be ok. Prayer for you, brother.
I’ve heard that if you rub some dirt on it…
corey, you told me the same thing about my pancreatic cancer; it didn’t work then, and I’m not trying it now.
My dear boy, sending you good thoughts and prayers. Um, your life isn’t stressful or busy at all [I mean, besides school, church, gigs, marriage and raising a new person in this mean old world], so I’m not sure why you have anything to worry about…
Love to you – Cerise
Maybe some Windex would help?
Seriously, I hope you find things that help you to prevent it from happening again.
know that feeling when someone you love is having an anxiety attack and there is nothing you can do to help or fix it? Yeah, I had that last night. Sorry babe.
Yikes Mike! I hope this was isolated and it doesn’t happen again. Hugs
Love and prayers to you too, Gretchen.
i just realized that i was in the middle of writing my own smarmy comment and missed chad’s (as we were posting at the same time). But I think he may have been onto something… Mike, are you harboring any unconfessed sin? I mean, it’s not really scientific, but…
i dunno … is tracking crappy, crappy piano and strings parts on a children’s record for meredith considered a sin? cuz if so, then yeah, that might be it.
bullseye. you’ll need to pass that on to someone else and remove yourself from the hands of an angry God. I’m pretty sure there’s Biblical support for these findings.
thank you to everyone who called and emailed – I’m doing fine, sorry to give everyone a scare. It was an episode, it passed, and things are more or less back to their hectic norm.
It’s all about the Xanax, babe. For a good time, call Dr. Paul…