I really wanted to love it. (And judging by our post-film-analysis at Jerry’s Famous last night, I was the only one who didn’t. I felt like an outsider…I must be emergent!)
Was I the only one who thought Haydn Christiansen looked like he was trying to hide something on the front of his neck? Apparently someone told him that all you have to do to look tortured and menacing is to tuck your chin into your shirt and sweat a lot.
Was I the only one who grieved at the poor treatment of a perfectly fine actress, Natalie Portman? It’s just plain mean to give someone lines like “I don’t even know you anymore…you’ve changed!” or “Hold me, Ani, like you used to do on Naboo.” That rhymes, for the Force’s sake!
Was I the only one who thought Palpatine was a lot more frightening before his face went all Weta Workshop? About the worst thing you can do to the actor who’s carrying your film is put a mask on his face…unless you’re directing Jim Carrey.
Was I the only one who thought Darth Vader looked like a junior high kid dressed up for the opening of Revenge of the Sith? Why on earth didn’t Lucas get Hulk Hogan or Arnold or even Lucy Lawless to put on the suit? Vader with boobs would have been more threatening than the black Q-tip we were presented with.
And was I the only one who wanted to laugh aloud when Palpatine told Vader that he had killed Padme? “NOOOOOOOOOO….” Good grief, I thought he was going to drop to his mechanical knees and scream, “Stellaaaaaaaaaa…” Maybe it’s just me, but in my world, one should not feel an attack of the giggles at the emotional climax of the movie.
I’m not usually a suspicious person, but I’m beginning to think Lucas’s plan all along was to make two s***ty films and lull us into low expectations, just so he could make a mediocre finale and we’d all thank him for it. Thanks, George. Thank you.
[Malicious Critic Aly, could you send Compassionate Zen Aly back out? Her book is coming out in a couple weeks, and we'd like to rebalance the karma, just in case anybody decides to review it.]
-ah
For shame.
How dare you break company with the rest of the faithful? Don’t you know that the accepted stance is that Ep 1 & 2 sucked, but 3 is pretty good? Just as it is commomly accepted knowledge that while Return of the King won all the awards, it was Fellowship that truly had the magic?
Oh Aly…
This will surely get you excommunicated from the First Community Geek Church. Father Nerdburger will be by shortly to formalize it, and take your geek artifacts.
Oh, and you’re a total weiner for not bringing this up last night… :)
You guys were just so happy. I wanted you to have your moment of joy.
Oh… that’s so sweet.
If I had hated it I would have been vomiting opinions left and right, so I admire your restraint… Your geek credentials are still going to have to be handed over… however.
Michael… I don’t even know you anymore.
dude, read the tag … I didn’t write the review.
my geek credentials are still intact.